Back to School

     Never had i thought that i would ever need a pencil case again... Never had i thought that i would need to write... to study... Never had i thought that i would not need to take IPPT Test, at least for the time being...

     I am enrolled into Signal Institute (used to be known as School of Signal)... Trainee's life was much more simpler compared to BMTC's life... Not much physical training but from what my course sergeant said... there will be some exercises that requires lots of strength etc... But currently, i am studying, like poly, from 8~6pm.... having praticals, theory, e-learning... Once a week, there will be IPPT Specific training with run... but its not as tough as it sounds like...

      Due to many short free time in between, me and John keep on thinking how much we miss Jaguar... Jaguar till now is still the best... ever... I miss the punishment... i miss the run... i miss the SOC... i miss the wonderful discipline from my platoon... i simply miss my platoon mates... my buddies... my pals... u name it... i'll miss it...

      The spirit will never be the same here compared to Jaguar... We struggled through lots of training... motivating each other... have fun together... joked around... fooled around... poking fun at each other... a very memorable feeling... All those times we spent together had since been kept at my heart... And i do hope that i could see them real soon...

     Not to say that Signal is not good... but i just wanted a more disciplined-required and physically-trained environment... Now i could just try to get the best trainee in the two-month course...

NS Liability: Phase 2 Begins

     The time has come... after much disappointment... even if tears did fall... its time to report to my new posting... I need to pick myself up once again after this expected fall... In order to stand up tall once again, i need to prepare for the next IPPT... I would have to pass it... How? my weakest stations are SBJ and Chin Ups...

     I had tried to keep myself busy these days... in order not to have extra free time to thought about what was going on... Many people might simply ask... what is there to think about? Yes... true to some extend... since i am not in any position to change anything... i have to move on isn't it? Even if i know all these, i just can't help to think and regret... All the 'what if' came up to my mind...

      I went out on Friday evening with Boon Hui, Tim, Edwin, Samuel, Calvin & Jon... Play Lan games... chit chat... Boon Hui and i left earlier since both of us have to meet other people... He and his girlfriend... while me with my polymates... I went to Liquan's house overnight with HangMing & WeiPing. Then, wandering around Tampinese with Boon Hui yesterday for just one hour before headed back SengKang... This morning, i went swimming with my family... Nice and relaxing... It's been a long time since i last submerge in water... and i swam, for the first time, many laps... feel the strain on arm... but happy to be there...

      Feeling down these days... i have talk to some friends... Hwee Li, Boon Hui, Jiemin... While others did voice out their concern.. Its nice to have them... Give me sometime... i will try and make the best out of this posting... who knows? maybe i get a chance to go commanding school? or even get a bigger role than ever? Just pray for me out there... c",)

     There was once a friend told me this... "If all the pillars were to fall... you will be the last pillar standing..." So i guess... i will pull it through once again...

Have you ever...

     So what, if i say i try hard...? Did i try hard enough? Am i sure i did? Can i blame anyone from what's happening? So what, if you know the answer to all these questions? So what?

     Its like happening in every phase of my life... PSLE, O-level, SAT Test, Diploma... now BMTC... I always said that i try hard in each test, examination... but did i try hard enough? what am i doing while people are revising? what am i doing when people are pulling up one after another? Yes, i did remedial training... but did i do enough? or should i say that i should have start earlier? I am already fortunate to meet with many good people in life and had a smooth journey till now even if i didn't get what i wanted...

      Chong Li Prelim was the first obstacles as i was dropped to EM2 last class after many of my friends went EM1 or EM1-mix-EM2 classes... Then PSLE make me get into a Secondary School which was never my choice... But i am glad that i have many good/close friends there... In Sec 2, my maths results was not enough for me to make it to double maths class which is the only science class in our school... but still many of my good friends are from the class i was in... 'O' level results was disappointing putting me into ECC, NYP... even though my second choice... i never like electronics... Results in Poly was very bad or should say average... that might not allow me to go University (i was rejected during previous application)

     Every phase of my life... i felt the disappointment... the rejection... the unexplained feeling... Though partly due to people around me... but mostly because myself... i had been letting myself down... if i work hard enough... i would not be where i am now... i know i did not do well enough but... what did i do after that? nothing... never had i put in more effort... so could i blame anyone? Absolutely not... i have only myself to be blame... many people feel that i am competitive when i compare my results with others... but the truth is.. i can't even beat myself... how will i get to compare with others...

     Will i ever suceed and do what i love to do? Bowling... unlikely after failure in poly... Singing... still not up to standard... Sports... don't think have much chance... Designing... too old to be nurtured... guess... i have to work hard, real hard now... in what i have... and make the best out of it...

     If only i had worked hard enough, things could have been so much different...

Genting Experience [26 - 29 Sept 04]

     Flu, fever, cough... these are the illness that we had during this trip... Since the first day, Boon Hui had slight fever... Jie Min during Day 2 while my flu was from Day 1... Its a setback for us not enjoying ourselves to the fullest due to the sickness... but nevertheless... the trip was still enjoyable and fun... and we get to know each other better...

     This trip consist of 7 person, namely Guan Ming, Jie Min, Boon Hui, Wei Zhi, Wee Teck, Tee Rong and ME! i was the only one who were from Section 4... We went shopping, eating, sleeping, playing... We left out Theme Park due to the price and lack of interest in majority... We ate lots of stuff... and of course, we splited up and moved around in a smaller group... Some went to see some exhibits... some went bowling... while some went to Observatory... we did took some pictures here and there... we also went to Karaoke (its damn expensive, but enjoyable lar...)

      Never had i know that Boon Hui lived in the same area as i do... We were Platoon mates for 3 months and only on Saturday, we found out that we lived in Punggol/SengKang... Its mere coincidence or its fate... POP that day... we left at different time yet we caught the same fastcraft... and even though he landed first... we took the same bus to Pasir Ris... and during our trip, we have the same taste as we choose the same stuff like gift, clothes, food etc... we seems to have lots of things in common...

     On whole, its a nice trip... my second independant trip to overseas... First was the Balai Trip... I simply love the time spent and the no-restriction way of doing things... Simply Great.... Malaysia, Truly Asia....

NS Liability: Phase 1 Completed

     3 months of BMTC life has ended on Friday... We gathered together and was addressed for the last time as a platoon... as Jaguar... Its rather emotional... yet no one shed a single tear... All of us are happy to graduate from the school... Some of us might get ourselves in SISPEC, OCS while the others in Units as Man... I'm more likely to get myself into the third category... Due to my IPPT Failure, my PC say i likely to become man...

     Its great to know people in Jaguar... In fact, i met alot of good friends there... i will definitely miss them... i will be heading to Genting with them these days... So i guess, its the first and might be the last time we go overseas together...

     After the Pass-Out Parade (POP), i rushed to Braddell. When i reached... they were clearing the canteen... Managed to see Ms Aljunied, Mdm Ong and Mr Ow... Non of them can recognise me... The rest keep saying i went for Extreme Makeover *laugh* Its always nice to see your teacher... people who helped you in your life... Apart from the teachers... i saw Qiang, Eunice, Diana & Liying... We had a good chat after that...

     Yesterday, i renew my passport and went to collect my 2 free sling bags due to the membership for SAFRA & Music Club... We (army friends) went on to play LAN game... its always fun and enjoyable... After that i met up with Aris to saw Laura off... She went to Scotland to study... At the airport, saw Salleh, Ben, Huiqi, Zul, Aisha etc... Half the BK was occupied by Laura's friend... *laugh*

     I am kind of disappointed with Jannah. She was supposed to be there... in the end, she didn't come... as usual... and even if i asked her to meet up after she settle her stuff... her reply was with some attitude... its rather disappointing... I guess, we wouldn't have any more chance to meet up le... so its up to her whether she still wan Ris and i as friends... as in.. keep in contact out of the busy schedule...

finally

     Last weekend, internet connection had some problems... but i think it was solved... This was the last week of BMTC Training... everything boils down to the Pass-Out-Parade... Drills after Drills after Drills... our company drills doesn't look promising though... Its kind of disappointing...

     Why i can book out on week days? its because Drill team were given half a day off... hence... I was supposed to book out after lunch... around 1pm after much delay... Then more delays follow up... From 1pm change to 3pm, to 4pm, to 5pm... and finally ya... 5pm... but we wait till ard 5.20pm as we allow the perm staff (those with ranks) to leave first... even the workers there goes first...

     Its the last week of BMT, which means my last chance to pass IPPT... currently i left with chin up... i did only 3 chin ups... 3 off the passing mark.. can i make it? i hope so... as i will be able to go overseas... to Genting with my friends le... Training hard... but like not hard enough...

     One week more and my life for the next two years will be decided...

2 more weeks to go

     Hours ago, i just booked out from Tekong... Hours later, i will be back in Tekong... Why? Guard Duties... Its rather tiring this week... not because of any packed schedules... as i think it was rather fine... Its that many things happened.. and many tests etc.

     The only good news is that i was selected for the 30-strong drill team (a.k.a Dream Team) for Jaguar Coy. It was rather surprising. There are people who i think better than me... and i work hard to be up to standard... and there i was... the last few to be selected. Even though Jaguar's drill is rather shitty... but still my platoon's drill was solid still... I'm rather happy to be able to make it thus far...

     SOC, as LOW WALL had always been my main obstacle in the whole course... i got over it... i managed to climb over it... but my hopes were simply dashed when i dropped down on the Swing Trainer. Even if i managed to complete the whole course after that... my disappointment simply drag my speed in completing the course... and in the end... i break down... really... i break down in disappointment... the kind of feelings was very very... *sigh*... but my whole platoon was rather supportive... they take turn to console me... i managed to cool down about 10-20mins later...

     As for Basic Assault Course (BAC), a so-called test for Basic Close Combat Training (BCCT), it was rather easy... although it was very dirty... but we can simply imagine our targets as our Sch. Sergent Major... so *laugh* ... it was very easy... simply bring our aggression out...

      I just saw the photos taken during our Field Camp and a Platoon photo... it brings lots of memories back... imagine we went through so much together... i will cherish the photos... definitely... what will happen 2 weeks later will still be an unknown... but i am sure that friendship will remains...

life lesson

     Apart from the military stuff... i learnt alot from my buddy, we talk a little bit on the first night of our SITEST. Talk about life, human behavior etc... rather enriching talk... i learnt a lot from this intellectual conversation. I felt that i grew stronger throughout these days... I overcome my physical weakness & height phobia by completing tasks... and mentality strengthened...

     Last day of SITEST was accessed by a DJ from Power98... He showed us a fierce face... neither do his voice or action help him... he did warn and scold us during our mission due to lacking of urgency... i strongly agree... but its harsh for all of us still... during lunch time, he sit with us and tell us that its his job and apologised if he hurt anyone of us... i felt that he deserve my respect... this is the kind of people i respect... they did their job and don't mind being nasty... but when its resting time, get closer to the people... i wanted to be someone like him... i'm aspired to be...

     Singapore Idol standard was slightly higher than last weak, hence its something encouraging huh? Went for the family gathering... same comments floated... but managed to 'update' myself with the latest thing about our generation etc. So i guess, it wasn't really a wasted trip? *laugh*

SITEST over? all camps over...

     SITEST, a situational test that took us 3D2N to complete... In the test, we were given different missions, different obstacles... and 13 of us from different platoon, different companies were group together... everyone will have a chance to be IC and 2IC...

     Everyone will be given a special skills to learn... 7 skills for 13 persons... and in between each missions... we were asked to present some basic knowledge to other members... me? i was a LAW gunner... Light Anti-Tank Weapon... Damn heavy lor... and its very bulky... very pain while running with it... very tiring...

     Basically, the missions was fun and need alot of wit... although my Detail, I (India), wasn't the best or fast enough... we did cooperate & we succeed well... We do have one rather wayang kind... but nevermind, the rest was good... and we were having pain, tiredness but enjoying the mission itself... If only lesser running & walking... its tiring and legs often cramps while sleeping or resting...

     I went for the Dentist in PTMC (Pulau Tekong Medical Center)... the dentist was rather f**k up lor... not gentle or detailed enough... complaints could be heard lor... and if you were there, you will wonder if all girls were scared of him... haha... there was a 'tigeress' there lor... but in the end, turn into cat while talking to him... she kept stuttering... damn funny...

Singapore Idol Report Card

THE HOST/JUDGES: 2/10

     Gurmit trys too hard to act like a good host... or even Ryan Seacrest... But unfortunately, he is more like a clown... a very bad host indeed... His humour aren't funny... either... All for judges simply make a fool of themselves... They might be right at points of the show... but still they lack of creativity and full of sacarism doesn't make the show good to watch...

THE TALENTS: 3/10

     One or two did show some talent... but unfortunately still not enough... only 3 are more pleasant and all three enter Top 10 in last night's episode... The qualifiers also show that good english is very much needed... and those mixed-race can sing better?0

THE PROGRAMME: 1/10

     The show introduce the same format as American Idol yet they have both the competition & results both at the same day... If that's the case... The contestants need not re-sing to let the audience listen what they had earlier the evening... Its a very bad move... The cutting of the music and the video in the show showed that the producer sucks big time...

     If this doesn't get better... don't expect good response or even a second season of IDOLS...