not alone

      Often, i felt alone in this cruel world... Fighting solo in this tough world... but i am glad to be wrong... i am not alone... not now at least... no matter how much i don't feel for this empty house of mine... i know somewhere i can have my soul rely on... another soul... spiritual huh?

      i suddenly feel that i am worthless as a friend... as a buddy... or even failed as a person... its really heartbreaking to feel that way... i really do not know what i should feel... sad? angry? disappointed? whatever... i get a little 'pek chek' and at times i sound nasty or not friendly... not you guys fault... just that i don't know who i am... i don't feel myself well... Sorry to whoever being affected by me...

      Last week seems to be another week... Guard duty... My plans had all been haywired... From wanting to go out with Dz alone during nights out... to plans after booking out... All thanks to Army... No one at fault... we are just helpless against fate... Even SAT i had to change my plan for my outing... but i am not totally unreasonable, of course... i am disappointed... and a little angry when i heard the change of plans... but soon i understand the situation and get on with the new plans... i still enjoy it...

      Too many things emotionally happened this week... but yet... i don't know how to blog... hence this post may sound a little distorted or without any flow... because... i can't 'feel' it correctly yet...