Down But Not Out
i'm feeling down recently. Feeling lost, sad, angry, tired, everything... No of course, i will not resort to death... *laugh*
i just feel that things had not gone my way and feel sad when i turn my head back. My handphone has not been working well. it doesn't matter the fault lies on the battery or the phone itself, it just doesn't work. Now then i realised the importance of my phone and i am now dependant on it.
i can recite a whole lots of numbers of my friends' handphone or telephone number just like that... Now, i can only remember some of my Secondary School's friends' number. Some even might have been mixed up, not knowing which is whose. *laugh to myself* Lame? Just feeling sad.
On Saturday, my administration number was written down by a lecturer, stating that we are disturbing his P6 Program's students. Twins and i were too tired to retaliate, or should i say too weak? But it wasn't that bad, since my Project Supervisor did not call me up yet.
When i watched Iron Ladies II VCDs at home, i suddenly feel sad. The story line are not bad but the whole movies seems to jumble in a messy way, pretty hard to understand. I watched in a happy mood but soon it ends, Jung & Nong are good friends. Jung is one of the 'guy' that help Nong realised that he is one of the kind. But due to some things happen, Jung hate Nong. I suddenly feel like that scene was talking about me *laugh*
Of course, i'm not saying that i make someone realise he was a gay or i was made realising. But the feeling was like, losing a friend you always treated as best/good friends or even buddy. You miss the person, yet you just can't stop feeling angry for what he has done. This was a real struggle in myself. When i thought everything was put behind, i once again proven that the thoughts were deceiving.
I guess, the hurt is too hard for me to accept or the relationship is too important to me. Still recuperating from the hurt *laugh* of losing a buddy?! As i always said...