knowing me better

      Recently, i had meet up with a few pals that i seldom met up with... ivy, hangming, weiping, pearly, jiahui, xinyi etc etc... they all play a part in my life... Poly... working... i'm sure they will continues to be my good friends when time goes on...

      i'm glad that i haven't lost the touch to bring laughter to their lives... even though i may lost some to bring to lives of my army friends... its really great to see people laugh... smiling all because of you... and you know they had troubles... they have worries... but they cast them aside when you are there... maybe not entirely about me.. but i'm glad... i contributed... its then... i finally found back my soul... why i had friends with me... why my friends chose me to be their friends...

      Just when i had thought that i had lost the buddy in him... he appeared in my life once again... and help me return to my poly soul... my usual self... at least no worries at that time... and sure... getting to know who i used to be... or gaining my usual self make me live happier... i wouldn't say i no longer unhappy... but its getting good progress... and specially thanks to Hang Ming...

      i can have lots of friends... lots of good ones... or even brothers etc... but not everyone can be my buddy... and i chose two... Dingze & HangMing... its the spiritual connection... the common thinking... the i-know-how-you-feel & i-know-what-you-think that make me feel that i made them my buddy... and glad ... i'm recognise in return... and you definitely need two hands to clap.. the same goes for buddy...

      I will try to be who i am and who i was...evolving into a better friend... listener... Thanks jianqiang, wansan, jiahui, xinyi and kang for encouraging me to quit the Ambassador of Sadness position... so... i applied for Ambassador of Laugther le... lol...

time to grow up

      At many times, i feel that i can handle situation correctly or maturely... but i guess its all just lucky that i managed to do things correctly at a correct point of time... i'd never been mature enough... You probably had enough hearing me rant about how sad i am... how wilful i am etc etc... but its nothing but the through... it came to a point... i'm overboard...

      Everytime, i feel that i'm hurt... but maybe at the same time... i gave hurt to my friends... being protective... giving them more pressure... i complain about myself being negative after certain incident... but seems like i never give myself any real chance of changing for good... They gave me enough chance... they gave in to me, so as they say... yet i seems not to be able to feel it many times...

      Being friends... i expected to be scold if im in wrong... but 21 years of my life... i'm being protected... i had a life too smooth... no one around me really scold me for my mistake... only quarrel if i started it... and this had cause a scar in many people's heart... i always thought i had open my heart... so people can understand me... but in real life... are people ready for me? for me to open my heart and accept that fact?

      Different people view things differently... and i get affected when things don't go my way... maybe im just over concern... i value friendship too much... or simply wilful... and not mature to handle these things... for that... i guess i'm always went overboard at things... i no longer a child... no matter how much i wish... for time to stop... for my buddy to be around... for my friends to make me happy... i could no longer wish for that... the time have come...

      i had step over the line... the thin red line... and there is no turning back... i need to learn to be see things more maturely... and maybe think before i say anything... maybe i could no longer feed anyone my thoughts... but not to worry... i'm fine... and i'm really fine...

junction of life

      What do i really want? Who i really am? What my future lies? What could i ever give? Is it all worthwhile...

      In the path of life... we always get to make decision at cross junction... every steps count... a wrong step may led to an Armageddon... the right step may led you to better life... happier life... and which end up in another junction, isn't it...? What if, there is more than one decision to make when you are at one junction? How are you going to make then?

      I'm here again, at another junction of life... Different path, different decision will lead me to different place... and different life... yet i am a little lost... like the little sheep in the forrest... wondering where to go... what to do... i may had done this and that... and end up thinking, is it all worthwhile?

      i'm a little sensitive today... don't worry... i'll get over it... need some time... i am human... i need care and cheer up too... and thanks for the encouragement that whoever had gave me... thanks

7 : 1

      Yes, it was a soccer match's score... No, its not the world cup... but Singapore Cup... SK Dolphines Vs Balestier Tigers... What a score... I went all the way to Toa Payoh (Balestier Home Ground) and this was how the Dolphines welcome me there... Guess its more of Balestier welcoming Dz... its a pity the scoreline isn't bigger... This match does not featured the team that drew 4-4 in Hougang... but the team that make SK bottom of the S-League...

      I received a double hit... England failed to get past Portugal... They played brilliantly... at least to me... but penalty kick ended their dreams... So what if you keep practising? Ricardo never practise and stop 3 of your penalty-regulars... Lampard, Gerrard & Carragher... It saddens me as they gave us so much promise... only to lose in this manner... though better than SK but hey... its still a disappointment... not a shame result to me... SK oni plays 20mins of better football... England? at least 100mins...

      Due to not feeling well last night, i did not watch the Brazil-France match... thankfully, France did me proud... Henry scored the winning goal... Not sure how they did it... at least my faith in them was repaid... I had a gut feeling that France may upset Brazil... and they did...

      Not feeling well these days... wondering why... stress? shouldn't be ba... but not sure... need more rest...