failure

      Have been thinking all these while... Who i am... What i want... How people view me as... Am i really attracting attention... Am i misunderstood... What impression i gave others... do people even care about my existance... etc...

      When i am pondering about these questions... i neglect people around me... i guess, i am too self-centered... and childish for being affected by little things when people don't even feel that i will be affected... or never did they know... they hurt me... yes, i felt hurt... but so what? the world won't change just for me... and people around me will never understand me...

      After the meet-up with Liying & Siang... i felt that i had failed to be their buddy... i actually lost touch with what had happened in the past weeks or months... Never had i know that they are down in life or Liying got attached... when they need me... where am i? thinking of silly matters which are not worth of mentioning?

      i had long decided to change my blog address... and decided to bottle up my feelings and simply appear as who others wanted me to be... cheerful... ever-smiling... without childish behaviour... Maybe i will just be who i am... mayb i will not... but true feelings will soon be bottled up... only true souls can get access....

      Dingze, thanks for believing in me... i guess i'll never bother you with my silly, minor problems again... i'll stop blogging till i decided the new blog address...

Mistakes

      "Lack of discipline... Lack of discipline... Lack of discipline"... All he could say is "Lack of discipline..." but yet he couldn't cite any examples that i had been longing for during a short speech... In the end, he say "we'll sort things out on Tuesday"... Wasting our time and he just suddenly look angry and say us lor... i think he is having PMS... or 'Gen Nian Qi'... haha...

      9am - 12.30am... that's how long we had been in Padang... from washing the tampoline to doing the rehearsal to keeping of props... Went to Beach Road Camp before the rehearsal to listen to the music for Act 1... and we know what to do soon after we heard the music... But things doesn't work well for me... i am the only one who make the mistake... Thankfully, TH (behind me) didn't follow me... or else things might got worst... stupid me...

      I missed my point while forming up the 2-6-2 formation... when i look at the ground for marking... i couldn't find any... just follow my heart and i ended up at F27... but i moved to F26 and noticed the mistake.... i should be at G27... i didn't adjust back but only till the 2nd part of our formation... i moved back to G27... i felt so dump... and felt so demoralised... i can't afford to make stupid mistake...

      But its at the finale when i forget everything and enjoy the moment...

Tenor No More

      I had a great session in K-Box with Jin, Kelv & TH... With my voice tonned down alot after Secondary School days, where i am Tenor-2 & occasionally Base-1... i tried on songs that are more 'manly' like Jordan Chan's or Jacky Cheung's.... might not be as manly or powerful... but sounds better than i try to hit high notes and cant hit... isn't it?

      I felt pretty comfortable with the songs and i guess that's my forte... Will work on those kind of genre... After the KTV, we went on and had a steamboat opps. Shaw Tower... (can see some pics at Jin's blog) What so special about the food is the soup... their 'ma la' really spicy... Kelv never touch the soup after tasting it... Damn shiok... Then we went shopping in Bugis...

Initial D

      Thanks to my bunkmates... i somehow got attracted to Initial D although to me the vehicle is still difficult to differentiate... I'd watched the animae Part 1~3 (missed a few eps.)... Part 4, due to the fact that they watched without me... i never even watch a single episode... Anyway... i am glad to be able to watch the Initial D movie acted by Edison, Jay, Jordan & Shawn...

      It was a simple one... extracted from the animation series... Acting wise... most of them are pretty good... but for Jay... he is simply cute... i like the way he smile... the shyness... then even when he cry, he looks like a crybaby... haha... the way he act was simply fun to see... haha... oh ya... his behaviour at one scene of the movie... reminds me of no one but Jin... haha... its simply hilarious...

      Its nice to watch this show after a bad day...

Cloud Nine

      Just returned from swimming & haircut... Went all the way to Redhill to have a short swim (tanning included)... its more a leisure swim rather than a training swim... those lengthy non-stop swim i used to have over at AMK or YCK... After which we went to have our lunch at the hawker near the MRT... the Teochew Porridge was pretty enjoyable... i love the dishes... they gave all those simple ingrediets or canned food a new twist and *tar~dar~* new dishes was 'found'... haha... Long queue okay~!?!

      i had always wanted to have a haircut due to the thickness of my hair... but delayed two weeks after being my mum's guinea pig... haha... she helped me to cut my side short le... Then just now after the swim, i went over the EC Cut in Compass Point... So happy to be there... haha...

      Hairdresser A helped me with my hair... we chat about army ndp as the previous customer was also involved... then after cutting my hair shorter & thinner... she commented that i look better in short hair... long hair make me looked restless... haha... when we about to finish... Hairdresser B came over and say "No wonder you take so long, you are cutting for a handsome guy..." haha... i was like *blush* haha... then B helps A to clear the hair around my face area while A take a brush to brush away the excessive hair around my neck... haha...

      Alright, don't puke... but i guess i wasn't that bad after all... haha... c", )

NDP NE Show #1

      Yesterday was the NE show... NDP for Primary School Kidz... its fun and i do love the atmosphere... but the problem lies at the 'essential services' we need to do... although i am willing to help out... but why do the AIs always get the priviledges? That's simply unfair...

      We ended up 12+ then leave CPS... i reached home at 1am... its really tiring... knock out soon after i online for about 5 mins? haha... to dry my hair basically... Havent really regained my fitness since the hectic NDP trainings began...

      Going for a night training le... tml still got swimming to do... haha... i love exercises.... keep fit... fat-free~~~!

Bowling & VirtuaTennis

      NDP SaiGang continues... changes had be ongoing even till now... still can't confirm... had add some movement to the flowers... and we set up the tents there... not knowing for what purpose also...

      I went bowling with Dingze & TH... Not bad... as i had not been bowling for a while and yet managed to hit 118 & 104 for the two games... although its not a results i should be proud of... i am contented...

      After bowling, we went arcade and i teamed up with A-Jin for VirtuaTennis before we left Marina... we are not the best team but managed to go through the first round... but our route ends at the second round... its fun to play with people you know and team up... before him was a stranger which appeared from nowhere... haha.. he teamed up with me... and we crossed to third game i think... Definitely looking forward for more... But shall stop the Kelv from conquering two games... haha

OOC

      Life without CSM in CPS is totally different... We had lotsa of fun haha... at CPS... joking and fooling around... totally enjoying haha... oh ya... and picking up of 'love seeds'... i picked the more vibrant colored and 'got feeling' type... while helping the rest picking up to 4-5 bottles of seeds... haha...

      HangMing OOC recently... 3wks before Commissioned... I feel sad and confused when i heard HangMing breaking the news... he had been through all obstacles & training and finally left 3weeks before commissioning... At least to me... he did all he could and he did pass all the training... to me, i salutes to him... he only failed to cross the final obstacle... his OC... which commented that he lack of command and control...

      I am proud and happy to see he take things on his stride... and he commented that the OCS training had trained him to face things calmly... so i guess... the training is indeed good... HangMing... Jiayou~!

fond memories

      Its those times where i had not woes with army... as a chao recruit i simply just complain about tiredness haha... or actually there wasn't much since i still could take it in BMT... i had a great time at Jaguar... Jaguar Rox~!

      Just last night, i managed to catch up with Samuel... my bunkmate in Jaguar... Had a great talk and somehow my memories in Jaguar came back to my mind... The images just float through my mind... It seems like it just happened not long ago... but actual fact... it happened almost one year ago...

Extract from Friendster.com :
"remember the days we played uno in the bunk and ended up forfeiting each other wid pushups? remember the days we'd wolf down biscuits like hungry wolves? remember us struggling wid all the pt?"

      UNO had make me break my 'ZERO' before BMT ends... And Biscuits is the most popular food in our bunk after the OREO biscuit... haha.. most of them stop taking OREO as we had ENOUGH~! of it... haha... As for the PT? most of us were pretty weak physically... including me and sam... so we did struggle through it... haha.. Jaguar PTI always say we had the most PT in School 1 but why our Destruption Test results did't show that? I don't know... maybe we had too many ZERO fighters? haha...

      Those were the times... Memories with my platoon mates... bunk mates... it will never ever be forgotten...

back in place

      I've bought a new Nokia phone... Going to pay back my dad on PayDay... N6021... so difficult to choose a phone without a camera... unfortunately... no cam means no FM oso... hmm... My pc is also back in place with a second-hand LCD screen from my sister's friend... She took from her uncle who changed a new pc recently...

      Feeling so much better with my stuff back in place... And with the fact that our Node got one more OFF day thanks to the 5-6 guys who helped us to fight for it... Thanks ALOT~! Here I am... doing things i like and relax... Last week was hectic... as two Guard duties & NDP rehearsal... Not too bad...

      Need more rest... Don't wish to talk about TH's incident... Let me have a good day OFF... haha... now i go write testimonial for people le... c" ,)

the tree

      "Listen to me...”, the little tree shouted... “It wasn’t my fault…”

      No one hear the tree, in fact no one seems to care about the thoughts of the tree... As they had long passed a judgment that… it’s the tree that killed the woodcutter… Yes, the woodcutter had been killed by the fallen trunk… But little did they know the real reason behind the falling of the tree…

      Nobody knows the reason… and from one look at the outside… it is obvious that the tree had killed the man… so what for investigating? Moreover, it’s not an important hundred-years-old tree… it’s just an ordinary tree that looks just like the rest in the forest… Even if someone did at one point of time questioned about the falling tree, he/she might realized that no one do care about finding out the reason…

      A tree is just a tree, do IT has feelings? In fact, all living things do…Even though their existence is not important… No one would ever care for it… What’s the big deal of losing one small tree when you had a BIG forest of trees… No one would care about a dead plant… They, no doubt, had a mind of their own…

      Unfortunately, no one cares for them… their feelings…