rover driver

      Due to some error in management... my coy never indent driver for the exercise last week... end up me & my friends became the Rover driver... but Kelvin is more tiring than i am... even John drive more often than me... haha... might be the two reasons... #1 they more zai #2 they want to rest me more as i do other Sai Kangs also...

      Finally, i could go to the Dental Center... The 3 person i came in contact with was simply great... Dr Tng, his assistant & the receptionist... yes Dr TNG... haha... i was shocked to know that myself... haha... TNG helping TNG... i was refered to National Dental Center to remove my 2 wisdom tooth... Jx, my wisdom cause me pain too lor... haha... you can try go SAFTI then they refer you to NDC? its free... i only need to pay $60+ for consultation & X-ray fee... Why not try?

      Once again... i crossed over to Johor to change some PC programs... at the same time... shop for clothes & VCD... oh ya... not forgetting some comics... Not really plan to get anything... just that since we passed those stores... we had a look there... This time round, we went to a lot of shops that we never been before... The dinner at Ah Fook Street was great... Dz, TH & me shared a few dishes... A large variety and yet pay about RM6-7 only... isn't it cheap? Too bad Jx could not make it... nevermind, we go again next time... small group of 4... haha...

      3(4) DVDs but David's concert is spoilt... Nice variety in the shop but seems like the Disc not very clean... can see stain... maybe should go back Holiday Plaza to get...

Fun Captured

Jack brought a camera but with limited memory & also easily low-batt.... haha... but at least some fun moments were captured... who cares about the bad ones...

Conquerer O Food...
He & Kek were tag-team Champion

Kek & Jx are 2/3 of the 3 Tenors
(Jack being the last one)

Hope that we will be together forever...
We looks like boyband, isn't it?

All went JB, in the search for fun...

Outside Neway, how can we forget to take one last pic together...

plan changed

      Initial plans of clearing my shelved project was made with some changes... Supposed to go for the JingHan's farewell dinner... thankfully it was postponed due to many people unable to make it last minute... at first thought i need to miss it for salvaging a friendship that is hanging on the cliff... me ended up went for the JB outing...

      Unlike the past... this time round... i went as i was invited or should say offer an ultimatum... Initially, i reject the invitation with many points to take into considerations... like afraid that i will spoilt the trip etc... but after having a small chat... consider small ba... but its meaningful... chat last night... i decided to go for it... with support from Dz... though he was not able to make it... Giving him... giving myself one more chance...

      Objective was met... with me and TH opening up more... enjoying more times together... but still the trip did not really goes well... we went shopping for games... movies etc... most of the time separated into groups... as me & Jx still not really talking... though i tried to create converstaion... guess he is too tired due to lack of sleep... he slept around 4am... should have rest earlier since going to JB... haha... so yes... it keep going on and on... i saw the way he talk to me simply hurt me... as i could see he was happily chatting with the rest...

      this was one of the reason i ponder about going JB... but TH assure me... to settle our problem first... something i know Jx will be happy about... hence i went... and thanks to TH... he was there supporting me all the way... Its been like that till evening... we even went separated twice... haiz... i mean... me & TH with the rest... Not sure why... but it happens... hence we end up plan to meet back KTV at 5.45pm...

      It was till late KTV, Jx came back to life... something i am relieved... at one point of time... he 'went missing' and worrys me... luckily he was just doing his business in the loo... then TH's turn... couldn't find him anywhere... but he return back soon after... It was till then, Jx talk to me slightly better... and we sang together a couple of songs... and with the rest too... Kek for the first time after persuading... willing to sing at his own will... Jx too... The song we (me & Jx) first sing together is... haha... "Wo Zhen De Shou Shang Le"... what a song... At first chose Dao Dai, but he went to get food... and subsequently wanted to eat his dessert... not till this song... he sang with me... finally...

      Hence i could say the trip starts with lots of unhappiness... for me lar... but thankfully... ends with a lighter note... hopes that its not an one-off situations... i really been praying to have an improved situations... with the two of them... i'd tried hard... hope they feel it... oh ya... the Custom lady from Singapore say i looks more handsome as i slimmed down... haha... flattering comments... im in cloud nine again... Guess can sleep better tonight... eh... why Mr Wu is still not online... guess he went sleep again...?

evaluation

      its Friday night once again... booking out from the camp... its been a week, or maybe just three & a half day...? Book-in on tuesday... Couldn't say its a hectic week but its not that relaxing as well... Physically, Mentally...

      Emotionally unstable... i couldn't really concentrate what i am doing... i tried to... but easily get affected... i almost lost my cool in front of the specialists.... Jere, TeeRong & Patrick... of course, i might look a little 'hot' but i am definitely calming myself down... so never shout back... i just wanted to get the job done... so everyone can rest...

      Thanks to Teerong for solving my OFF woes... and giving me encouragement and tips just before the SOC starts... though i appear to encourage the others... i, myself... i definitely nervous like hell... i even feel stomachache & nauseous... can you believe it? haha... that's me... scarly cats... no one actually came to me and say 'jiayou'... only we SOC takers chitchat with each other... not him.. not anybody else... i so hope that my buddies were around... but unfortunately... they did not... never did they offer any consolation or encouragement... only Jin, fellow takers were there with me...

      SOC drained me completely today with the fact that its physically demanding... Thanks to TH that i managed to go through the SOC with ease... only the run down rather slack... i failed myself... i failed his goodwill.... almost went ga-ga during the nights... i went running... gym... and even trys to keep myself occupied in the spec bunks at night... wanting to keep my mind off the mental struggles...

      Guess the higher hopes i had... the more disappointed & hurt i get?... losing appetite... though i am god damn tired... i couldnt sleep... even the night before SOC... imagine not enough sleep yet i still went for SOC? N39 had been saying i was sleep talking... afraid of saying out things i shouldn't, i tried to sleep late... but i guess i failed to stop my illness...

      I gave them chance... i hope they appear during the runs, when it was draining... i hope to evaluate if i am really a friend of theirs... but all hope went dashing... i was just like or worst then N30/34 to them... at least they could laugh or initiate a chat with N30/34... to me? haha... i guess they are just too hurt...

deleted

      i had deleted the previous post... where i post my shoutings... totally went bersek last night... losing control... but don't worry, i locked myself in the room hence no one saw it... and would not be in danger... i was chatting with Jx and trying to calm myself... but somehow i was took over... i was feeling awful...

      Getting more and more fustrated & painful... i appear offline & not picking up calls... i couldn't control myself... the tears... the pain... i don't know... i just wasn't myself... i was struggling... or am still struggling... feeling fan.... Argh~!

      i want answer... yet i cant get answer as there is no answer or no answer intend to be given to me... i can't force the answer as i know it will cause unhappiness... and i do not wish to make anyone unhappy... hence i decided to struggle myself... the bowling thingy just activate me... and i overstep the limit... i am in crazy mode... bersek mode....

its the process that matters

      its been a long time since i last bowled using my own ball... and today is the great opportunity i had... i went to Marina South with Dz, Jx & TH for bowling... $1.50 per game... cheap... though lousy system... but i guess the price pay back the substandard lanes & system... a pity that Terence & non-bowling-lover Jin were not able to make it...

      After much persuading... Jx decided to book in tomorrow with TH... hence both were available... Initially, Jx was relunctant to come... but gladly he did... in the end, four of us went for the game... its been a long time since four of us went out together... I guess they did enjoyed... me? not sure...

      Using my personal ball, i did had a good run of results despite average first game... you would have thought i should be happy with scores like 155, 150... yes maybe... its been a long time since i last scored such a high score (for my standard)... but i am not really happy in fact... during the game... a situation appeared... no, not fighting nor quarrelling... but the fact that i felt as if i was playing alone...

      Jx & Dz explained that maybe due to the difference in standard and they thought i am serious about the sport... they try not to disturb my concentration... but actual fact... i toned down during the game because i felt i was once again playing alone... The previous time (Tang's dinner) was that i had no supporter... this time round? despite four players... its more of a stranger sharing lanes with 3 good friends... they enjoyed their time... but i am like all alone... its the way i feel it...

      Feeling really sad at what's going on... so what if i scored... and win almost all games... and eventual champion... i still not happy... its the process... the fun of the game... if i really go for scores... i can bowl alone, why need to ask you guys out then...? i could simply go with Dz when he asked or go alone to bowl with my ball... what for playing with friends if you are not going to communicate... what is the purpose of playing together when you couldn't have fun together...

      Kinda miss the atmosphere the bowling club used to have... HanKeong, Robin they all... spurring each other & happy for each other... friendly competition that brought us to another level... and i really regret telling people i am from learned bowling...

losin' direction

      After completing Project [Jx], all of sudden... i lost my direction of life... casting aside all my woes... i fully concentrate on the project itself... hoping to get the best result... haha.. almost forget Siang's birthday celebration... Thanks to Ber for reminding me hours before the event... Still have lots of questions in my heart unanswered... i continue to feel blue & search for some direction...

      My legs had more or less recovered... special thanks to Kek for introducing me to such a great sinseh... though the treatment was painful... but thankfully i endured through it... now recovering... something surpass my expectation... i could move without pain... but still need a little more rest to see if it can recover fully...

      Went Ktv with TH & Jin... had a good time and nice dinner... fish porridge and shared tian ji with Jin... not too bad... nice food... like the sauce especially... After which i rushed back home just to play dota with Jx... afraid that if i return too late... he will be asleep... thankfully, he did not... at first he didn't reply... hence kinda disappointed... but after awhile he went online... and we start playing... but just one game... haiz... thought can play more... but he was too tired... i guess...

      Trying my best to look happy... but i guess, i did succeed? didn't i, jin? deep within me... still feel the emptiness... the bewilderness... i begin to feel that i don't know myself... what i really want... from him... from anyone else... i guess if my questions and curosity was not answered... i would need a long time to recover... or will i?

Your Birthdate: December 19

Your Birthdate: December 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Mission Accomplished

      Not been a very good week for me... haha... when was the last time i had a good week? i wonder... haha... anyway... managed to finish the Project [Jx] on the dot after TH came down to my place right after guard duty in the morning... He did alot in this project... me? i did nothing compared to him... Lots of unhappiness throughout the week... or past few weeks actually... never been able to rest well... but glad that TH managed to make me focus on the project... he had his own problems as well... the first collaboration from the two of us... i hope the receiver will like what's inside... almost a month long project... the idea came in Sept in fact...

      Despite nursing my ankle injury, still recovering from flu & still constant vomiting... i went for SOC... i wanted to know where i actually stand... what is my standard... hence i tried to push myself... but when i know i reached my limit after the second round... i raise the white flag... i fall-out... Special thanks to Jx for suggesting to carry my rifle after instructed to walk with me back Coy line... and Dz for accompanying me to and fro the toilet... i guess i am still pretty weak for the test... but nevertheless, i will train myself up...

     Guard duty was a pleasant one... with KH & Dz taking care of me throughout... Francis, the undemanding Guard Com & Mun for willingly opting out of the Detail... i wasn't feeling that well and they let me rest... or sleep... haha... thanks alot... Unfortunately, i broke my hp cover while i was messaging during my prowling... it just cracked up... i'm pretty unlucky i guess...

     Alot of days never blog, hence sound a little long-winded... haha... but i still had a number of person to thank... so here's some shout out to them...

DZ:

      Thanks for being by my side throughout all these times & despite me making you angry... i know you had long forgiven me... but still i must apologise for whatever i had done in the past... hope i can make it up to you... i will try not to be such a bother anymore... thanks for telling me the truth... though its long ago... at least now i know that you are willing to tell me... i am some freak that i wanted to hear right from the person mouth... if i anger you in the future, please tell me... thanks...

Jin & JianXin:

      Thought that i had long been an over-dued product... A long time since i was last praised, especially by girls... a timely compliments indeed.... JianXin for telling me your gf making comments about my perfect smile... i guess its really great to know from someone who travel around the world and seen the world outside to judge my smile... Jin for telling me that someone in your blog saying that i wasn't bad looking... i had missed that comments and discussion completely despite going to your blog... guess i was too busy with the project... Thanks alot guys... i am feeling better... after the bad week... i guess i will work hard to up the ladder by shedding off my cute little boy image... to a suave dude... haha...

December Child

You think its true for me?

---

* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organizations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialize
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical

Extract from FW emails...

not me?

      Do you find it strange? One week holiday and i did not update my blog everyday like i used to...? this week have been an uneven week for me... emotionally... lots of ups & downs... i have been to extreme ends... from most happy day in recent months... to the most disheartening times... but now i'm recovering le... and ready to blog again...

      Had been busy doing the project... rushing to do it... and whilst doing it... i face the emotional struggle... haha... doing this project brought me many happy memories which made me more sad... of what had happens after those fond events... thankfully, i had someone by my side... encouraging me... giving me pointers... helping me through these times... and finishing 33% of the project le... by tomorrow should be able to finish all... no dotA for me tomorrow... haha...

      This week not much events.. only on SUN i went swimming with my SI platoon mates... N33/39/35.... i enjoy that day... its my happiest times... honestly... whoever know me well, know that i won't lie... we played around... even though i injured myself sligltly when i was swimming too vigorously alone... its worth it... i get back what i thought had lost... i simply can't hide my happiness... that day... till night... everything was fine...

      We played bowling... ended up very stress... 'cos no one supports me... they say i from NYPBC... so all want to win me.. of course they did... i was under-performing... no one support me... jx never support me... 'coz ermei is there... of course he support him... Dz is one of the player... so end up i crumbled under pressure... so many platoon mates see my fall... haiz... so sad... got nice posture also no point.. couldn't deliver... disappointed with myself.. and sad that jx nv support me... oni kek & kh joke with me, i beg for their support lor.. pathetic right... haha...

      After being ask to see a doctor by Dz & Ermei... i went this morning... Last night slept early, hence i am feeling better for my flu when i woke up in the morning... Special Thanks to JiuHsiang for asking me to sleep... if not i guess i won't get better that soon.... and thanks for keeping me company by sms... i guess i had cost you alot ba... so sorry... bills pass to me k? haha... k lar... i'll stop here... i know my blog is getting more boring already, agree? hopefully not... haha...