not feeling good

     Projects after projects... One down with at least 3 more to go... i am not feeling too good recently. No, not because people around me mistreat me or what. i just feel a little out of place. Those around me used to be high scoring students, but they now are Bs students. And i recently, not knowing why, i feel that i am not supposed to be in the Photonics class. *frown*

     Who cares i am in a class of genius? who cares if i seems to be among the best? Who cares i get first choice? who cares if every goes like "wow! you in Photonics?!!"? BUT... i am NOT happy! NOT happy with who i am now... NOT happy with what i am studying NOW!~ but can i change the reality? NO!!! so the solution? bare with it and moves on with life! *laugh*

     i am glad to know people like Hang Ming, Li Chuan, Wei Ping or even Chih Shyong... but i feel like a burden to them. i hope that i can stand up real soon. Be one of them or even help them if i can. Currently i am only better in lab and not academic. Somemore, they are real good off academic too. i wished to be like them. i do look up to them.

     i not knowing why, but when i am in class, i felt so out of place… Not that i don't wish to study, i am not interested. Once i look into the book, i fall asleep... once i am in practical lessons, i am alive again... Maybe i shouldn't find excuse not to work hard. William, a Photonics student last semester, improved his grades from 'D' to a near 'A'. i should look up to him too. No time to lose, no time to slack. I have to buck up real real soon!!!~