failure

      Have been thinking all these while... Who i am... What i want... How people view me as... Am i really attracting attention... Am i misunderstood... What impression i gave others... do people even care about my existance... etc...

      When i am pondering about these questions... i neglect people around me... i guess, i am too self-centered... and childish for being affected by little things when people don't even feel that i will be affected... or never did they know... they hurt me... yes, i felt hurt... but so what? the world won't change just for me... and people around me will never understand me...

      After the meet-up with Liying & Siang... i felt that i had failed to be their buddy... i actually lost touch with what had happened in the past weeks or months... Never had i know that they are down in life or Liying got attached... when they need me... where am i? thinking of silly matters which are not worth of mentioning?

      i had long decided to change my blog address... and decided to bottle up my feelings and simply appear as who others wanted me to be... cheerful... ever-smiling... without childish behaviour... Maybe i will just be who i am... mayb i will not... but true feelings will soon be bottled up... only true souls can get access....

      Dingze, thanks for believing in me... i guess i'll never bother you with my silly, minor problems again... i'll stop blogging till i decided the new blog address...