fool again

      Never take any of your friends for granted... it may be too late when you start to realise it...

      Never take them for granted... they may stick to you till you find them irritating... you may feel that you do not need to give them any special attention... they will still be there for you... if you have any thoughts of that... though you may not realise... you are wrong... when the times come and they disappear from your life... that is when you will regret for not treating well enough in the first place... but everything will be too late... am i taken for granted too?

      i had thought that i had finally thought it through but guess, i am wrong again... all these while, i keep telling myself to take things easy... telling myself that i am just over-suspicious... think too much... etc etc... but i couldn't seems to control my emotions when i'm all alone... when all the thoughts ran through my mind... i simply couldn't sleep... too many things to worry...

      And its a really terrible feelings to have... trying to sleep yet couldn't... trying not to think at all... but your mind keep functioning... and the next day? haha... guess what... its Guard Duty... its not i don't want to rest... but i simply couldn't...

      When i am all alone... i would suddenly felt my eyes turned teary... and soon it starts to flow... its not easy to explain how i feel... i used to think i could... but all of sudden... i felt that no one can understand me... and i given up explaining my feelings...

      Guess what... haha... i am crying now... haha... how can it be right? ridiculus... but... haha... i don't know... i'm just stupid... i guess i am a sick person... haha.... i going crazy... tears keeps rolling... the wound is opening up... the heart is falling apart... our time together will be over soon... not going to see them when June ends... no more suffering for them... as for me... God knows...

      Anyway, these week nothing special... setting up vehicles back... oh... i was worried sick when i heard that kh & dz got caught... all i could do was hope that they are find as i try to reach dz... i was at sentry alone... but was slightly relieved to hear that they are ok... but still it make me more awake... cant go to sleep... even if i am really really tired... end up talking to Jx who took over me at sentry...

      Being persuaded to sleep... i went to guard rm... and kh & dz ask me to rest and they will settle the things... managed to catch some sleep only then... These week only good news is... my good friend, Jocelyn getting married... So happy for her...