hidden wounds

      its been a long time since i felt so down... All these while.. i keep finding ways to hide my upset... find ways to forget all the sadness... find ways to be happy... from watching smile pasta... playing games... to music therapy... i guess its been rather successful... at least i can control and not blog about any unhappiness...

      But somehow... i felt so uncontrollably down now... maybe due to the incident just now... i cant feel the accomplishment even after my game... when it happened... my feelings returned... feelings that i thought had long forgotten... long recovered... i had been deceiving myself... all these while... i will never forget somethings that happened... i will never forgive people who hurt me...

      Choon siong, Zhengqiu, Shawn and Weiliang... four people from two different place... i had forgotten the hurt they gave me... the hatred i used to felt for them was gone... hence i naive-ly thought that... this time round, i could pick myself up again... but seems like... this time round... i couldn't forgive him... maybe the fact that all the above four lasted only a few months... and soon i never contact them... apart from Weiliang, i lost contact with all...

      The wounds still new... fresh from cuts... and occassional salts doesn't make me feel better... guess all along, the wounds was only covered by gaux and not healed with medication... how long will i take? i don't know... guess it could be one year... 2 years... or maybe forever...