hating myself

      Have you ever feel tired after working... and feel why are you working so hard for? Have you ever look forward for games after working so hard to end up knowing that you aren't going to play? Disappointment is there, even one know that no one is at fault. Wanting to play games, is it my fault?

      I wasn't myself for days. Stress from work... First time ever, i really feel brainless for life... An argument with my mum over small stuff... I'm tired... tired of my life... a life of no life... i doesn't seems to have things my way... Before anyone reading my post going to scold i'm childish, or i am willful. Make this clear. I AM JUST TIRED~! It may not be one of you guys who cause my unhappiness but it just trigger my unhappiness... That's all. Moreover, everyone have the right to be angry.

      I'm tired... real tired... i don't care if people think that i am not grown up, whatsoever... i want a life... so many things in mind... sleepless nights for so f**king long... Now... i feel that no one to turn to... i'm back alone... striving hard for this stoopid 'life'... No longer working for interest... its the money that get me going....

      Alright, go on... think whatever you guys want... i don't f**king care anymore... i'm tired... i am really tired... wanting out...

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Spiderman 3 : Review

James Franco stole the limelight

Spiderman 3 was really nice... The way they develop the characters. Venom, Sandman, Spiderman & New Globin... All did their parts great... Suddenly fall into the charm of James Franco's (New Globin) smile... He was a real charmer... Never really think he look quite good till Spiderman 3. Especially when he lost his evil memories... he smile so charmingly... No wonder he was elected by his senior class as the boy with the "best smile" in Palo Alto High School in 1996...

MR James Franco, New Globin

MS Kristen Dunst, as MJ

MR Tobey Maguire, Spidey 

      Kirsten Dunst(as MJ) looks most beautiful when she was on stage at the beginning... during her broadway performance. Alright, they made the right choice to replace her with the other girl. Vocal wise, Dunst didn't make the mark. Tobey Maguire stunned me with his dance & 'new look' during one night at the lounge where MJ worked at. His moves was grooving and nice... but its a turn-off when he did that on street... haha... the dance at lounge saved the day...


Sandman's & Venom's performance quite good... but i hate Venom teeth... a little bit insightful. Or they purposely made it that way. Overall, the movie was quite good. I will recommend people go and watch... For the stories... Muscles... Smiles... but not much beauty... Its a fantasy... comics, man... haha... Can't wait for Fantastic 4 too... What other great movies coming up... hmm....


More Spiderman 3 Info

Singing Passion

      Singing has always been my passion... whether i sounded good or not. I keep telling people i wanted to join Project Superstar. Many passes it as merely a comment. None really take it seriously. But actually deep within me, i really have the urge. haha... I know my limits. Hence i am still here.

      The biggest step i took in competitive singing was last year's AFPD Idol. I flop. Its the 3rd time i had to sing solo in front of a group of audiences more than 5. The first time i did so was in Braddell where i am vying for a spot as one of the male soloist in the musical, Wizard of Oz. I shook my way through losing to my senior Zhiqiang. But hey, my teacher see me as a backup should he fall sick. haha... The second time was Music & Drama Company (NS). I was totally unprepared. Thought its 1-to-1 audition, ended in the middle of 5 judges. I wasn't impressive... Hey that day was early morning leh... haha... alright i shall not find more excuses....

      I always thinking of continuing my passion in singing. Until this very moment, i can only sing in KTV. I bet i was much better last time in Sec Sch. Nowadays, not sure if its army or due to my growth, my vocal sounded weak. I can hold the note in He Se You Mo (Dark Humor) by Jay. Don't pray pray~! haha... From a tenor 2 to base 1, i can hardly hold a note for tenor. But hey i am still working on my voice. Practice makes.... alright, practices will improve my vocal?

      Today, The Artist Academy (Tiny Box Music) message me in friendster. Checking if i am interested in the courses. Alright, if its those messages asking me to join their company, i normally delete it. But this Artist Academy seems to have a strong back up in music industry. Lesser known artist like Malaysian Project Superstar winner & runner-up worked with them, our Kelly Poon also signed with them too. Hence i am thinking if i wanted to join the courses for fun... passion... hehe...

      But you guys know me, if its me alone, i unlikely will go, but if someone interested in joining me, i surely will join de... Just like if someone want to join Superstar. JIO ME~! haha... but before that, back to basics.... Do... Re... Mi... Fa... So... La... Ti... Doh~!

distance Vs recognition

      Plane crashed into Singapore military camp in Taiwan became a hoo-haa last week. Allowed me to pay tribute to my nanyang poly-ECC junior, Pte Fan Yao Jin & NUS candidate 3SG Isz Sazli... May you guys rest in peace... The rest of the injured fellow Singaporean, may you get well soon...

      Its kinda saddening when i saw the news about 2 guys being 50% burnt & one of them even had been burned to his respiratory system... that's dangerous.... SGH staff... help them ease the pain please.... Thank goodness, this incident did not happen a few months back... where my ex-signal-comrades were there on training... Thankfully, they had been back in Singapore for a long time... but still this is an unfortunate incident... My condolences to the family of the death...

      As for myself, i had been caught in the decision making. Whether to go for NTU parttime or accept the place in UniSIM. Many factors and friends did suggest NTU is a better choice, but due to the location. I had to consider more carefully. Special thanks to Haymar, Jx, Liying, Eunice, Qiang... you guys did give me a better advice rather than asking me to think what i want or decide myself.

      Frankly speaking, i prefer NTU. Better degree, more recognised, reputable, more modules to learn (meaning i can learn more) and with the aspect of converting to FT after 4 semester (case to case basis). It suits all my criteria... UniSIM is good in all aspect, but its recognition in our engineering field is the cons. Hence, as of my MSN personal message, its distance Vs recognition. But at the moment, i am definitely drawing more nearer to choosing NTU. But people may shoot me another question, am i sure i can get NTU part time place... Honestly i don't know... i am waiting to consult Desmond & Guanjie, both applied for this semester.

      If you guys have any advice to give me, poor little guy... haha... but seriously please do, MSN me...

tying a knot

After Jocelyn's marriage & child birth last year... Yiliang's ROM months back and a wedding is being lined up at the end of the year... Another great occassion coming soon... Out of my surprise, i received an sms from a guy whom i never contact for awhile.... haha... since he is busy with army, i am busy with job... Hankeong getting hitch this coming June... Honestly, i am happy for him... i shall dedicate this little post to him... haha...

HK, his little nick last time, was someone i know since poly year 1. In year 1, i am considered one of the studious guy in our class... so is he, we formed a study group and studied our way to sem 2. Soon, due to some differences in the group, we break up and never study in such a big group again... of course, we still study together once a while....

i still remember him as someone who is kinda competitive... alright, who isn't? i admit i am too... but i did, at that point of time, feel a little pressure to succeed as well, with his presence. Others feel that he is comparing many things with me, so its not just me feeling it... We shared common goals & interest. Both were bowling members. Alright, he did fare better than me, but once awhile, i show that i am a force not to be reckon with.. hehe.. and he will try to beat me... its friendly competition... In studies, i am one of the better Singaporeans in our class, with the top spots normally occupied by my other good friends (foreigners)... Hence... you'd guess it... i am considered the 'upper class' in terms of studies...

Though i constantly lost to him in bowling terms, i fared better than him in academic. We did studied together in the beginning but as i soon went to help another group of friends. Me & him, never study together much again... moreover he stay in the north, me? AMK, Bishan seems to be a better choice for me... and it is more important to help friends to pass, than to achieve GREAT results isn't it? Hence, i decided to spend time with those who often skipped lessons etc. (you guys out there, touched right)

Maybe its due to results, i guess i am fortunate to get into the elite class after some of the elites choose opted out. And i become the minnows there... He, on the other hand, failed to make it to the class but if i am not wrong, he did pretty well in other specialisation... alright, photonics students do regret chosing Photonics but the people there are majority great.... hehe... as in personality wise of course... Academic? Needless to say, they count by numbers of As but yet they are humble... Those who know my results... i am one of the weakest link.

HanKeong achieve good results in Bowling terms. He is outgoing & like to socialise, which made him the top choice by the senior to be the next club chairperson. But we (a few committee members) feel that he is not yet up to the standard as he always heeding our help rather than making the cues himself. Hence soon after, a few of us quit... wanting him to be more independent... but that is a correct decision i feel... at least i lost my favorite CCA, i earn back a friend. A class chalet at the end of our poly years allowed him to say his apologies and of course, i was touched... it strengthen our ties...

Honestly, i am glad that regardless how i treat him during those days... he always regard me as a brother... and even now, call me when he planning to ROM... i mean, he can simply forget about me, isn't it? but he didn't... He never did anything wrong to me, so i never really hate him... haha just jealous that he get all the attention in bowling more than i do... hehe... alright, i hate to socialise to that extend, happy?! We even had short stint together in Fairprice before he left to concentrate on his studies.

Fond memories, huh?! Definitely... so i am really happy to see him ROM so soon... too bad not Jiahui... haha but hey, love cannot be forced right, so i am glad that mr HANK(eong) is getting hitched...

p/s to~
JH: Not sure you still treat him as friend, but i hope that you forget what happens last time and give him well wishes... i actually forget what happen... haha... alright, at least he made you stronger... and made u treasure Bel more, right? haha...

HK: If you get a chance to see this post, Congrats~! POWER lar... missed those bowling days... our schedules just can't accommodate a bowling session... but SIR~! congrats once again... Hope that you have a blissful marriage... so envy... haha...

fever

      Last few night shift, i had tried my very best to keep my concentration and work well. Guess i did it nicely... but after that, my body showing signs of breakdown. Normally, 4 hours of sleep can keep me active for at least a few hours... It didn't seem to be that way yesterday. I woke up, but still feeling weak...

      Went out for some gathering and return with a weak body... very weak indeed... at 1am... i feel my whole body cannot make it le... and i am right... i trying to sleep yet body pain till couldn't really sleep. This morning, went to see a doctor to confirm my symptoms... 2 days MC... when was the last time i really get fever? hmm... i couldn't really remember... Never take MC for a long time already...

      At first, i am still considering if i should go work tomorrow instead of taking MC. But guess, its high time i let my body rest. I feel, until now, still weak and concentration quite low... hmm... Now on medication, hence no worries.. should be back like Dragon soon... haha...