Endless Road...

     Its rather unbelievable... On Sat, i am performing my guard duties at my campsite... As a sentry, i stood there rather alone as i never talk to the 2IC when i was guarding the camp. At one point of time, even the 2IC was resting... and i was there all alone... Its a two hour shift... So in the beginning, i was thinking about the designs for my new blog, logo etc... All the designing stuff... but as the time passed by, i stopped drawing and begin to think back about my life...

      I had always felt that there was one invisible wall preventing me to move towards my ambition, my goals... a wall that i am rather helpless with... I am not living in a life that i wanted to live in... No... i am not feeling depressed... neither was i feeling down... i was simply thinking about what was happening in the recent years... *smile* i was rather useless, isn't it? Thinking about the past, thinking about the friendship i lost... And why am i thinking about the friendship that i would never get back? or should i say, back to how it used to be...

      At times, i would still be sad and regretted in losing friendships... e.g. Feng & Weiliang... Its all because of my character, things become this state... Everything could have been good and nothing could have happened... *laugh* What's the point of telling myself all these when i know that its easier to be said than done... And soon... my shift ended... and i went to take a rest...

      What was rather surprising was that Feng attended Siang's birthday... I was actually thinking about the possibility but in the end telling myself, "why am i always think that things would happen?"... As there are many times, i hoped and wished... but was only disappointed in return... But this time round, she was... finally... there... with a good news too... she was now with a boyfriend... was rather happy for her... No matter what, we used to be close friends... and she used to be my god-daughter... *laugh...

     I still can remember, we normally never chat much during gathering... after things happened... but last night managed to chat a little.. and i was pleased that i was able to face her... Rather contented with how things are going... Somehow i could relate myself with JJ's Endless Road... A song i was addicted to since i first heard of it... The music soothed my feelings and i think its a song that described my feelings now... *laugh*