inferior

      what a week... apart from thinking about friendship... i had illness to think about... Teeth... Ankle... then came the vomiting part... haiz... not knowing why... simply feel like vomiting during the Guard Duty on Mon... and its been like that since... not having good appetite too... not sure of the reason... slightly better... Dz use my lines to shoot me to see a doctor... guess i had to if i still not well by Friday...

      Haven't been studying my advance theory... must start soon... haha... do the questionaire from Dz's book... Hope to clear it once and for all... even though i had a feeling that its gonna repeat what had happened during military lessons... i pass all theory in one take... but driving practical took me 6 times... and the sixth time is the last time... haiz...

      Feeling more and more inferior nowadays... had not been doing very well... i try to show my care and did not really felt appreciated at times... but its ok lar... since i do feel ashame from what i did to him or them last time... like what i told Dz... i could & would only blame myself for how things been turning out...

      A month of inactiveness in exercises... i am afraid of failing both SOC & IPPT... seeing others working so hard for SOC... making me ashame... all i did was stay in bunk or at the ending point... haiz... i guess i won't get to pass it... but i will definitely work hard... hope the rest could help to motivate me or pace me then... don't know why... feeling more and more inferior these days... maybe due to what i see and what i feel... too late to update now... maybe will update about this incident another day...