time to grow up

      At many times, i feel that i can handle situation correctly or maturely... but i guess its all just lucky that i managed to do things correctly at a correct point of time... i'd never been mature enough... You probably had enough hearing me rant about how sad i am... how wilful i am etc etc... but its nothing but the through... it came to a point... i'm overboard...

      Everytime, i feel that i'm hurt... but maybe at the same time... i gave hurt to my friends... being protective... giving them more pressure... i complain about myself being negative after certain incident... but seems like i never give myself any real chance of changing for good... They gave me enough chance... they gave in to me, so as they say... yet i seems not to be able to feel it many times...

      Being friends... i expected to be scold if im in wrong... but 21 years of my life... i'm being protected... i had a life too smooth... no one around me really scold me for my mistake... only quarrel if i started it... and this had cause a scar in many people's heart... i always thought i had open my heart... so people can understand me... but in real life... are people ready for me? for me to open my heart and accept that fact?

      Different people view things differently... and i get affected when things don't go my way... maybe im just over concern... i value friendship too much... or simply wilful... and not mature to handle these things... for that... i guess i'm always went overboard at things... i no longer a child... no matter how much i wish... for time to stop... for my buddy to be around... for my friends to make me happy... i could no longer wish for that... the time have come...

      i had step over the line... the thin red line... and there is no turning back... i need to learn to be see things more maturely... and maybe think before i say anything... maybe i could no longer feed anyone my thoughts... but not to worry... i'm fine... and i'm really fine...