what makes a man

     i had an interesting conversation with Nat & Xinyi. For many times, i had been on the defense of the ladies against those male chauvinistic pig (MCP). For once, i am able to be in a conversation as a man, despite not being regarded as a man. Its a sad case but i have to resign to this. I'm overpowered. Alright, i did express my view as a guy when some lady friends face problem in relationship... But this time, we are chatting on MAN as a general term.

Why interesting?

     No. Not because its about us, guys. No. Not because i am interested in guys. But it makes me reflect on my conduct and changes over the years. I am no longer a gentleman by their definition. I can't deny that i do have some 'gentleman' reactions/actions, over these years. But sad to admit, i no longer who i used to be. I am not bragging, but i am really a good guy or gentleman by their definitions, years back. Alright, its not the first time i mention about this and i am sure you guys long been bored over this topic. But to me, self-reflection is important. So one can improve. Besides, who know best about yourself? You? People around you?

Good Boy No More

     No. I no longer, always, request for sms from my lady friends when they reached home. No. I no longer show enthusiasm in helping lady friends. No. I no longer offer help to carry things for lady friends, that often. No. I no longer the goody-boy-next-door who willing to give all out to assist a friend. Do I?

     I had to admit that I am not who I used to be. Always around to offer a helping hand whenever there is a need. Put others ahead of self. In short, I became selfish. Not to an extent that may cause people to hate me, but to have this defensing wall around me to prevent myself from getting hurt. But I guess, this wall hurt those around me without me notice it. Making me losing close friends. In the end, I had times where I felt that I had things to share(whine) about and yet, no one to turn to. I will take this opportunity to say apologize to whoever may be hurt due to my changes. Sorry.

The problem with man

     Ladies always wanted guys to be gentleman. Do this... do that... But to be honest, sometimes it is not we do not want to, but there are reasons for us not showing. (Alright, this view do not represent those REAL MCP out there.) There are times when we don't wish to go that extra mile in case any misconception that we have some interest in you. There are times when we realize that we should offer help, its too late or some get snapped. Every individual have their own reason. So I guess, its not right to judge a guy's gentleman-ness according to your definitions. If you are really looking for this guy that can score full marks in all aspects, forget about relationship. This guy should now be extinct.

     Of course, as a man, we should be a gentleman. Maybe most of us are not as detailed as we could be. But simple gestures, I am sure ladies out there will appreciate. Hold the door for the ladies. Ladies first (in some situations). Escorting ladies back home or to the bus-stop. The examples can go on and on. In short, be a gentleman from the bottom of your heart. It will come naturally. Ladies do have eyes to see if you are faking or you meant your actions.

Actions speak louder than words

     Its easier to say than done. Even i understand this statement, i couldn't do what i feel like. May be i am a thinker. Or simply, coward to do it. There are times when i feel like saying things or showing my love, i couldn't do it. Expressing myself is still an obstacle for me. Example, i know my parents meant well and i really love them. But hey, don't expect me go over and say: " Dad, Mum, I love you!" That is too much for me. Its hard for me. Actions or words, i did try. Maybe not hard enough. I need to learn how to express myself. Oh, yes... and try to be a real gentleman and not gentle man only.