沒咖啡的日子

四天沒喝咖啡后，我今天喝了！哈！

原因其實很簡單。

即使沒喝咖啡的這四天，晚上還是不容易入眠。

今天白天有點睏，所以決定喝杯咖啡提神（虽然不知道有用嗎 呵呵）。

心情方面越稍微好轉，我也還在努力中。

早前想在週末施行“Mobile/Social Media Silence”，也就是不會去查看社交媒體或手機的訊息。

甚至因為不想大家擔心，覺得我搞失蹤，我想在我的社交媒體上宣布。

但因為週末我是必須Stand-by，所以最終沒有。

後來看了鍾琴在新傳媒的《權聽妳說 Hear U Out》的访问，觉得很励志， 也很认同。

反正我也不是一个会到处寻求帮助的人，也没必要让大家担心。

所以现在决定一点一点的慢慢改善自己的心态与生活习惯。

让自己变好。

失眠。。。 一切從咖啡

已經不知道是第幾晚了

白天如黑夜， 黑夜如白天

一日下來， 白天會感覺稍許的疲倦，

但一到夜晚，這疲倦卻不足以讓我入眠。。。

躺在床上 翻來覆去
無法入眠

想說 該改改一下生活坐姿

自己不幫自己 誰來幫你

一切從咖啡開始吧

決定停止咖啡的飲用

看看是否能改善情況

渴望 與 害怕

相信每個 人 都有一些 渴望
無論是對 物質，生命，愛情，金錢 或是其他 的 渴望

但 人 總是因為 害怕 而怯步

或許 我也是 人

也是會。。。

渴望

膽怯

害怕

而因為沈默的個性

感覺更加難受。。。

男兒有淚不輕彈

需要一個抒發情緒的管道，所以再次回來這裡。。。

不知為何，但眼淚一直不停的落下
“男兒有淚不輕彈”
或許 我不是真男人

追劇  落淚
聽歌  落淚
靜思  落淚

之前 夜深人靜 會讓人沉思 容易傷感

但

今日  白天

我  聽著歌

突然

臉

濕濕的

Emcee & Brother (Xiong Di) - Updates

It has been a long time since I last posted something in this personal blog and I guess it is time to update myself on this! haha. I do not remember off my mind the number of times I have been, thus I decided to do myself a favour to write it down. Time to go through my photos and stuff to keep track! haha

*****

Emcee

2010

- Han Keong & Cuiling (Mandarin)

2011

- Guan Jie & Wendy (English)

2012

- Chen Siang & Huiting (English)

- Wilson & Stephie (English)

2013

- Swee Kiat & Gwen (Mandarin)

- Belfred & Jiahui (Mandarin)

- Liquan & Shiling (Mandarin)

- Mun Whye & Yu Zhen (Bilingual)

2014

- Rick & Meixia (Bilingual)

- Bernard & Natalia (English) - 10th ! =)

- Derrick & Elynda (Mandarin)

- Eugene & Shujie (Mandarin)

2015
- Jingda & Angel (Mandarin)
- Ian & Esther (Bilingual)

2017
- Boon Chay & Siew Choo (Mandarin)
- Chang Yong & Elaine (Mandarin)
- Weiqiang & Sieu Tee (English)

SEVENTEEN times as an emcee and I have indeed matured a lot. Though not professional enough, I am very happy with my recent show for CY & Elaine. An impromptu session that wasn't my forte and thankfully I have a partner whom make me confident and secured. I am so glad that she made me more comfortable on stage. Thank you, Lifen! You are really amazing!

This coming Saturday, I will also partner Hazel again for Qiang's wedding. I co-emceed with her 5 years ago for Siang's wedding and she will be my first co-emcee that I partner twice! Looking forward to the wedding lunch! haha

Brothers (or Sisters, haha)

2011

- Guan Jie & Wendy

2012

- Chen Siang & Huiting

2013

- John & Shannon

- Swee Kiat & Gwen (twice, in Malaysia & Singapore)

- Kok Hong & Yanning

- Hong Ching & Shirley
- Liquan & Shiling

2014
- Bernard & Natalia

2015

- Shengxin & Noelle

- Terence & Kristy  - 10th! =)
- Yongda & Aixuan
- Edward & Zhengjing

2016
- Jeremy Ho & Dharani Gopal (Helper)

2017
- Boon Hui & Aileen
- Dingze & Meiying

FIFTEEN (different couples) and that is if I did not miss out any of them! haha It is like Emcee job VS Brothers job! haha I guess the number should stop soon. But I am really thankful that these guys considered me close enough to task me with both jobs!

2-0-0

200 days challenge.

This will be the new challenge for myself... The challenge? Lose 10kg in 200 days. 

This was inspired by the 2011 Korean Drama, Dream High! Kim Pil-sook (IU) took the challenge and successfully slimed down, shedding 30kg in 200 days. I know this is actually a drama, and it can be not that realistic. That is why I give myself a more realistic target. If I am able to shed more kilos, why not? Right?

I have been gaining weights and getting more lethargic recently. I think it is time to put a stop to it. Since I reduced my marathon runs, I should restart my usual runs and do some skipping. From the show, one of the exercise IU's character did was skipping. I will resume this skipping daily and aim to do at least 30 minutes daily. I am sure this will be a good start!

Meal wise, it will be the usual saying... "Have breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Prince, Dinner like a Pauper." Not sure if it works, will try to reduce my intake as well. 

Jaronさん、頑張ってください！

Dating Myself

Me, Myself and I.

I decided to go on a date with myself since my afternoon appointment was cancelled. I only know it when I stepped out of my house! Anyway, I was pretty disappointed and unhappy as I definitely don't like people to "put aeroplane". But since I am someone that cool down easily when I am alone, I shall forgive that person! haha...

I am having thoughts to spend my time either in a cafe or McDonald's. McDonald's is selling the 'McDonald Food Icons' nanoblocks which I have gotten 3 so far. But at the end of the day, I decided not to continue the collections. The nanoblocks are not really nanoblocks since they are 'glued' together and we cannot assemble or disassemble ourselves. I read it somewhere that it is for the safety of the kids. But I feel that it is simple easier to manufacture. What is nanoblocks if you cannot assemble it? Moreover, the design of the McDonald's series are not that nice. If I wanted, I will probably get the China imitation Loz series from Carrousell.

Anyway, I decided to visit a cafe near my office instead. Spending the afternoon in the cafe, thinking if I should return to blogging or food blogging. Okay, at least by posting this post, it is a good start... right? haha. Let me ponder for a while on the decision.

It is nice to sit in a quiet cafe and do some blogging. I do miss the time actually. I have been too busy in working and spending my time in many areas but not really focused. For the past few months, I am more focused on my work. I didn't travel as much as I wished to, sing as much as I wanted to, exercise as much as I hoped to... and slim down as much as I wished to....! haha.

Time for more #metime before I meet up with my friend for the movie "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice". Ciaoz.

Emcee & Brother (Xiong Di)

It is 2015 and after receiving some offers to be emcee (Yes! Again!), I thought I should log down somewhere the number of times I were an emcee and/or Xiong Di (brothers), so I guess I shall update here so that I have something to keep track with.

Emcee

2010

- Han Keong & Cuiling (Mandarin)

2011

- Guan Jie & Wendy (English)

2012

- Chen Siang & Huiting (English)

- Wilson & Stephie (English)

2013

- Swee Kiat & Gwen (Mandarin)

- Belfred & Jiahui (Mandarin)

- Liquan & Shiling (Mandarin)

- Mun Whye & Yu Zhen (Bilingual)

2014

- Rick & Meixia (Bilingual)

- Bernard & Natalia (English) - THE BIG 1 0 ! =)

- Derrick & Elynda (Mandarin)

- Eugene & Shujie (Mandarin)

2015
- Jingda & Angel
- Gwen's brother


12 times is quite a feat huh? For someone who has stage fright and shy! haha... And to think that I keep telling people I wanted to retire after the 10th! Life is always so unexpected huh? 

Brothers (or Sisters, haha)

2011

- Guan Jie & Wendy

2012

- Chen Siang & Huiting

2013

- John & Shannon

- Swee Kiat & Gwen (twice, in Malaysia & Singapore)

- Kok Hong & Yanning

- Hong Ching & Shirley
- Liquan & Shiling

2014
- Bernard & Natalia

2015

- Shengxin & Noelle

- Terence & Kristy
- Yongda's (coming soon)


Wow! I never expect that I was part of the Team Brothers for 10 times (Not counting twice for SK&Gwen wedding). Ok, let's see anymore getting married this year. haha That's the list for now. =)

再現

其實回到這裡並不是一件好事，因為我發現這裏最終還是我唯一可以施放的管道。
一旦心情無法沈澱，一旦不知所措，一旦需要發洩的時候，都會不禁地想到這裡。
所以回來，那會是好事呢？
最近感覺上又常常「病發」，似乎快要壓抑不了我心中的想法。

我何嘗不想當真正的自己，面對真正的自己。
但老實說，身不由己。

有時發現瞭解自己並非好事，心裡會很難受。
更加希望的是有人能比自己瞭解自己，比自己更能接受自己。
說到底，我也只不過是一個普通人。
而且比其他人更懦弱，更缺乏勇氣。

有時在想，我是什麼？
說好聽一點，我是變色龍。
在需要的時候，我可以配合別人的請求，要求，或想要的結果。
是一個配合度挺高的人。（其實我也不好搞！）
說難聽一點，我只是個戴著面具的爛人。
雖然不能說配合人完全會讓自己不愉快，但有時候不是真正的自己。
即使我配合度在怎麼高，我還是配合不了「他」

「他」 就是 另一個「我」。
一個 沒有任何人能摸得透的自己。
一個 不想被人看見的自己。
一個 希望不再出現的自己。
一個 常常無法壓抑的自己。
我是雙棲動物。

我希望「對的人」能快點出現。
我只是希望「他」看得見真正的我，引導我做回真正的自己，能接受另一個我。
當然，同時另一個我可以很自在的面對「他」罷了。

30年了，「他」在哪？

累了，睏了，拜了。

Busy Busy

I realised that it has been quite some time since I last blogged (in March), BUT i did not stop blogging actually. Since starting my food blog, I have been working hard on it and I think I should be happy with my results so far! 43,165 pageviews for the 132 posts since end of 2012. Not that I have been promoting a lot, those feedback I received from friends had keep me going. haha. I am such a amateur blogger, hence not expecting any fans! =D But if you happened to like my review, do help to share lar!~

Don't forget to check out my food blog!

Once a while, I also pop by my another blog, Cookies in Jar, to post things that I feel like sharing! As mentioned before, I think, I prefer to keep this blog more undercover as I have such a long history/past in the archives that does not seems to be good for too many people to read. Ok, its all those boring rants I had last time... and the quizzes that I did which no longer around...

Over the past few months, I saw a couple of friends turn into blogger too. Probably should do some mention them here... They are fellow (singlish) food blogger Edwin (Ho Jiak Bo?), the Candyman KY (Sweet Man Talking) and Travel & Food blogger Jacelyn (杰思琳 Travelogue & Foodie Adventures). Do check them out once awhile... (after checking my own blogs out! haha)

I have also been revamping the things I posted on my Instagram which is now more food-focused. Once awhile, I will post some cafe or travel photos. I am glad that there are a few pictures that are quite well received! (40+ likes!) I am easily contented. Of course, I will be happier with more likes! Well, let nature takes its own course...

I have yet to post any of my travel pictures from Myanmar, Perth and New Zealand (South Island). It takes a while for me to have the mood to post I guess... Things happened over the past few months, hence I have actually not been feeling too well, emotionally. But not to worry, its over for now. Probably will post it in another post! =)

Travelling around in camper-van in South Island

What other things have I done over the last couple of months... Hmmm

Oh, I was engaged in casual pre-wedding shoot for two couples (friends). Speaking of this, I have not edit the photos for their last shoot yet! Oops. Planned to get it done by this weekend as I will be meeting them over the weekend. Wanted to do it today, but ended up listening to the song and got the 'feel' to blog! haha... I am nervous about the outcome of the shoot but glad that one of the couple like what I did for them over the past two shoots. I have the last set of photos of them to process! I refrained myself from posting the photos before their wedding. But I guess its alright to post one, right? =)

Other than the photoshoot, I had also completed the #100HappyDays project. Will go into it with more details in my other post! =)