clothes hunt

      Far East... Paragon... Cineleisure... OG Orchard Point... Plaza Singapura... Basically from Orchard Mrt to Dhoby Ghaut MRT... we went shop to shop... in search of the clothes we fancied...

      The Players? 6 of us... namely CangCai, Henry Aw, Me, DingZe, Teck Hui and his female friend... Cang Cai, knowing what he was looking for right from the start... completed his 'mission'... He get his Black Shirt at the first stop Far East... haha... he hit a double since he like both short and long sleeve... in the end... he bought the short sleeve one first... now i am sure he is still pondering about the other one... We went to OG Orchard after dinner... In the end, left Henry, Cang Cai & i looking for clothes there... me and Henry tried on a few pieces before deciding on one each... We even got a free sports bag, which is now with me liao... Teck Hui joined us back for shopping at PS...

      Suppose to catch the movie, Phantom Of The Opera, today... in the end, it was not showed in Cineleisure and was 'sold out' in PS... it is sure a great movie... or it would not be sold out... a surprise that hit me and Cang Cai...

      Today... The last day of 2004... FootballAsia magazine will not be publishing again... Even if the magazine was a success indeed... its sales forced it to stop... They will focus on their website FootballAsia.com (since 2000)... Due to low sales also, Mediaworks will be gone in hours time... Channel i and Streats will cease their operations today... Channel U will soon be part of Mediacorp TV Holdings... Many artistes will no longer be in Channel U... e.g. Evelyn Tan & Lina Ng... Channel U's Newscaster had all left their roles and decided not to join Mediacorp... On the other hand, Mediacorp Radio took over 99.5FM and mould it into the brand new Lush 99.5FM... from arts to lush station... wondering if it is nice... Another questions on my mind... will U-Weekly continue to published?

      It sometimes make me feel sad that Mediaworks will be gone... Channel U is a success as their variety show had really been creative... i am always a fan of them... As for TV Serials... there were some touched my heart one... Hope they can be back again in the coming years... Even though things will, still, not be the same again in Channel U...

Reflection : 2 0 0 4

      There are many things happen this year... Both Major and minor events... It doesn't matters if it happened to my character, my physique, my health, my studies, my friends... it just happened... and affected my life...

      Since Sept 2003, i began my major Project... I had transform myself from a woodblock to a more fashionable guy... i shall not say that i am very 'in' or handsome... but i became better... Early 2004, many of my friends were shocked at the 'new look' and soon asking me whether i took any pills... haha... Its the biggest project in my life... and the outcome was really unbelievable... but soon i grew slightly 'meatier'... haha...

      Specialisation took place this year... i was placed in the middle of a group of genius... The class of photonics... They are hardworking... but they picked things up much faster than i do... It do shows in results... But they never look down on me even once... They pulled me along... as i struggled to get through... They also introduce sports back into my life... After years of absence in regular sports... I played badminton regularly, continue to run... basketball... I began to have a more sporty look with tanning...

      It wasn't easy for a 'White Chicken' or 'Teddy Bear' to transform into a 'Da Ke Ai' or even 'Sunshine Boy'... i was glad i did so... and i am sure many people around me are proud of me... I gained lots of confidence this year too... Being part of the only A++ team in Comm Skills... i also attained A for my presentation skills... I am still nervous in front of crowd... but i grew better... and i officially graduated from NYP in August...

      National Service had mould me to another person totally... I continue to 'shrink' and my leadership had improved... i met many friends and i also became a more disciplined person... From BMTC to SI to SDC and to 3SIG in the near future... i feel that things will no longer be the same... and more is expected from me, myself and i... some more unforgettable events happened in 2004 includes:

• Apr : Winning 2 (two 2nd) Awards @ 2003/04 sAvvyAwArds (Online Poll)
• May : Winning 4 (one 2nd) Awards @ 2004 SavvyNite Awards
• June/Sept : National Service (BMTC, Jaguar)
• June : Swollen face (earning me the nick, Chipmunk)
• Aug : ECC Graduation Day 2004
• Sept : Genting Trip with Section 1
• Sept/Nov : Posted to Signal Institute
• Nov : Posted to 3SIG
• Dec/Jan : Went Sembawang Camp for Driving Course
• Dec : My Birthday Karaoke Session with E5

Official Launch: “ThE UnSpOk3N vOicE”

      Finally, a revamped blog… originally planned to re-launch my website… but was really busy to came up with any ideas… This blog was tiring enough to manage I guess… haha…

      Since I like the theme “Dream” and my original title was “The Unspoken Voice”… I hope to create a dreamy atmosphere where there is a voice within me speaking… hence, I came up with the idea of having a picture of a person in his dreams… Soon enough, I came upon a flash movie where there is this guy waiting for his love and fall asleep… a very emotional flash… There you go… the main character of the flash in my blog… “The Unspoken Voice”, which I retain its title…

      There are minor changes to the blog… Apart from the re-arrangement of the format… I removed some content and links… Removal of contents will somehow make the blog simpler and maybe focus on the voice within me instead of the description of who I am… As for links… some friends had abandoned their blog or had not update for months… I see no point of keeping them… Friends like Yong Hao, DingZe & Hendy…

      if you had been following my blog... you would have noticed that my blog introduce more pictures nowadays... I used to bring in animated pics last time... but it didn't work... its hard to find animation pics that are free and connected to my post... Hence, motionless pictures might still do the trick... Bringing in colors to the dull words...

      It is not a major construction or re-vamp… but this is the first official launch of my blog, I guess… after revamping it from the young boy look (the baby blue with a boy standing on his head, remember?) to a black-&-blue spiral design to a link of Skyver Holdings…. Now, its back as an individual Blog since there is no plans for Skyver Holdings to return with a web, in the near future…

lemony cheese with love

      My sister injured herself and limit herself from going out.. and i was pretty free today... Hence, i decided to get into the Kitchen and create something... She would like to have a Cheese Cake... And i selected one which requires ZERO baking, due to the fact that my kitchen lacks of one proper Oven for baking...

      After watching recorded movie, So Close, my family and i (excluding my sis) went to FairPrice and get our groceries... i managed to select and gathered all the required ingredients... and soon... went home after that... I started without any confidence... as its my first time ever making a cheese cake... But all turns out well...

      Alot of hardwork... from whipping to mixing... using nothing but hand... my dad give me a hand when i needed... but of course, i am the main chief with my recipe book... haha... Its nice... simply delicious... and its not only at my tastebud but also in our heart... its warm when my sister like it... its all worthwhile no matter how much effort i put into it...

      Seems like i haven't lost my touch in bakery... kitchen is still a place i can set to conquer, huh?

x'mas runaway

      Christmas marks the birth of Christ... A day which was celebrated by large population around the world, regardless of race, language or religion... But somehow, i felt its not right for me in the midst of celebrating...

      How do i spent my Christmas Eve? A group of us went to KTV again even though two of us were down with Flu... DingZe, Jack, Jianxin, CangCai (not ktv lover) and i sang lots of songs... new and old... loud and soft... showcases our vocal and teamwork... In a few songs, our voice complements each other and sound harmonious... hmm.. we should have sang Christmas Carols isn't it? haha...

      After the KTV session, i met up with Photonics gang, containing Jing Han, HanChien, Wansan, HangMing, HweeLi, WeiPing, YeeMung... YeeMung's ex-house mate, Wanyi (if im not wrong) and Liquan joined us later... We walked from Bugis, where they had their dinner, to Suntec... JH, HC, WS & HL went round the fountain of wealth... before heading Esplanade... The Esplanade was crowded with lots of arts programs... Nanyang JC's 5 represensative sang Christmas songs... reminding me those days in Choir... Another group of all-gals performers, not knowing from where, did a great performance under the moonlight at the riverside...

      Their performance bring the crowd into emotions... When they played as angels... people smile... when they played as devils... its damn scary, no joked... Great performance... Wonder where they were from... After watching the performance... we took some photos for memories... and left... i went left the group in Orchard MRT for JianXin & CangCai... but we only ate dinner at BK before deciding to have a walk down Orchard road...

      Everywhere was sprays... The replacement of the missing snows in Singapore... 3 of us, in the end, tried to avoid them and like runaway children... From Far East Plaza... Paragon... to Plaza Singapura... Thank God, we were clean from sprays.... We dislike getting sprayed but we do find it boring without sprays... haha... ironic, huh? Oh ya... Merry X'mas to you...

expectation falls • Ultimately disappointed

      F**KING HELL!!! You can never imagine how angry i am... i was so fumed about that idiot auntie who gave me a haircut just now... I was so angry till i could almost killed her... I simply calmed myself down during the haircut... and for almost the 1st time ever... never smile once during the haircut...

      As my hair was kinda long before i could get into trouble... i thought of getting a hair cut... At first, i thought of going to Compass Point for QB Haircut... then from my dad, i heard there is one around my neighbourhood... Give it a try? why not... since my dad say my bro and cousin cut there too... so... i did...

      Right before me, an 40s uncle in army singlet cut his hair like normal Warant Officer type of hairstyle or almost all commissioned Officer kept that kind of hairstyle too... I still have some hope and continue to read Doraemon Comics... My turn comes... I told her to thin my top and cut my side short... Then she began with my side and use the shaver and cut like no body business... I thought to myself... "i told her short... so its ok lar.."

      After that, she worked on my top... Cut LOTS and LOTS out of my HEAD!!!!!!!! My head in no time look like SISPEC style... like the previous uncle... i was already getting agitated and 'hot' inside... i calm myself.. clenching my fist... Then she continues... cut, shave again... cut shave again... just as i thought the torture is ending.... she took up the shaver AGAIN!!!!!!! in the end, she still dare to ask... " Is the front short enough for u?" F**K lar... Might as well cut No.1 for me.... !!! Her skill was better only than NS Haircutter... but her attitude cant fight with TEKONG's worst haircutter... DON't EVER GO TO BLK308 ANCHORVALE LINK for an HAIRCUT!! unless u are in SISPEC....

      WORST CHRISTMAS i ever had in my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

do they know its christmas time, at all?

      Christmas is finally here... not that i celebrate christmas or whatsoever... its another Holiday for us.. haha... Last week i celebrate my birthday, this week Christmas... soon will be NEW YEAR!!...

      Last Saturday, i went to Newtown Circus for the first time... with Fuping, HangMing and Liquan... my 'twin' brother, Weiping joined us late at night... Nothing exciting happens... but still nice to catch up with them... Hang Ming kinda change the style he where.. stating that its cold out there... haha...

      Celebrating my birthday with my secondary school friends... Its a pity that my ah jie, eunice were not able to make it due to work committment... Buddy like Liying, Siang, Diana and Hao still attend... We sang our lungs out and Liying say my singing improved... haha... Hopefully its true... Sunday also marked my first... first time travel on a bike... the feeling was thrilling... A little afraid at the beginning but soon i felt good when it travels faster... i trust Hao lar...

      In camp, one by one falling out of course... Many of us changed alot... as in characters... something which i was pretty sad of... Not that we became wicked... but the shouting and insulting from the instructors took the smile off many of our faces... but we stood by each other... and sure will pull it through... I passed HSP where many of us failed... i was rather the lucky one... all of us worked hard... but its the tester that makes the different... I don't feel extremely happy that i pass... maybe due to many friends fails... haiz...

Stressful Events

      Its been a long time since i felt so stressed... On Thursday night, the second day i learnt driving... i felt very stress... i wasn't having a good day... I needed to retest one of the simulation driving, did badly in my parking due to lack of confidence which led to being desribed as *f*** type" by the circuit instructer... Hence, i was very stress and restless the whole day... I took awhile to recover to my usual self that night...

      Thankfully, i did much better the next day and the day after... Passing my circuit driving, highway code test & did better in the parking segment... The circuit & parking held yesterday... and last night i met up with Jia Hui, Bel & Xinyi... As usual, the couple was late... Thankfully, i met up with Ahmad & Xinyi joined me shortly... They treated me pizzas from PizzaHut and even bought me a present... two in fact... as it was all wrapped up... I only opened it up when i got home... Its nice... a sports bottle & pouch... Rather surprising they will get me something... I thought we only having some usual gathering...

      This present also signalled that i am aging... haha.. going 20 soon... leaving the 1_ mark to a 2_ mark... hmm... Time to grow up? haha.. Many friends is having their birthdays this week... and Star Awards happens to be today as well... I am more interested in this year's Young Talent Award, Most Popular Newcomer & Top 20 most popular Artistes awards... The rest? Not really interested... as i was not watching tv shows for months i guess since i start serving the Country... Once a while, i watch an episode or two.. hence the 4 awards i mention earlier was more interesting to me...

[ Last ] Questionaire

[ Last ] thing you ate? = Fried Fish Fillet

[ Last ] thing u drink? = Sprite (i need the bottle)

[ Last ] song you listen? = Liang Yi Zhen's Shuo Ai Wo

[ Last ] thing you do? = Look at photos.

[ Last ] movie you watch? = Taxi 3.

[ Last ] TV show you watch? = Naruto 112 (Animae).

[ Last ] person who sent you a sms?= Mrs Stella Goh

[ Last ] time you clean your room?= I tidied them up weeks back...

[ Last ] CD you bought?= Britney Spear's Greatest Hits

[ Last ] word you said?= i last sing than said

[ Last ] time you cried?= September/October, i think...

[ Last ] person who you chat with online with?= Liying

[ Last ] person u add onto ur list?= What list? not sure....

[ Last ] person you bite?= Cousin, months ago i think.

[ Last ] website you went?= Shout Out!.

[ Last ] time you shop?= Raffles City on 04/12/04.

[ Last ] person you hate?= No hate but dislike allowed

[ Last ] person u had tot of?= Sito JianXin

[ Last ] time u fall sick?= Having Flu weeks back

[ Last ] person u would wan to see now?= Arvin?! actually no one lar...

[ Last ] person u wanna talk to?= N.A.

[ Last ] thing u wanna see on ur result slip?= C, D and/or F.

[ Last ] no. of ur hp?= 5

[ Last ] survey you did?= Some Prudential stuff.

[ Last ] words?= Finally ended.

back on track

      Feeling the pain all over my body, i believe i am back on track... On track? For? you might wonder... Its physical training... i am now on my way to regain my BMT fitness as i could felt the strain i used to feel, especially after the swim today... Simply feel good in the pool... and i got the chance to try butterfly-style... Enjoy alot... Hope to learn butterfly style...

      It was fun today... Teck Hui, Kok Hong, Jack Wang & Cang Cai went to Marina Square to shop... Cang Cai left us after shopping in Suntec... We went to Bras Besar Center (if i'm not wrong) and look for low-priced books, comics and saw lots of arts related stuff... i am once again wanted to get back with my arts... Some ads in the art book inspire me and Teck Hui to learn photography designing etc...

      Soon, Kok Hong went to have his regular weekend dinenr with his parents... while 3 of us continues our shopping at Raffles City... We tried on clothes after clothes... alot of nice one, but seem expensive... haha... We also get to see Winnie, Eeyore, Piglet & Tigger on stage... They are simply loveable... When we came upon a book "Beyond 3D", i was amazed by Teck Hui... He can see what lies between the repeated pattern... and got all of them right... while i hardly can see a thing... Jack could see a few but took his hat off when it comes to Teck Hui... Simply unbelievable... and i changed my views on him...

      We walked to Clark Quay after that and i drank MILK... haha... quite a lot.. those big bottle type... A Circus was performing there... hence we stopped by and watched... When it ended, i imitate the so-called leader/host of the circus... and walked to a bridge nearby and chat with Jack & Teck Hui... Nice session indeed... Cool breeze... and saw a few tourist having fun in 'amazing race' kind of games... haha... then there was one foreigner took a cock (male chicken), make the cock say hello to us... haha... its a fake chicken of course...

     I had took out an exercise book and record my fitness progress... hope to keep track on the weekend training....

"I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do, or any
kindness that I can show to any fellow
creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or
neglect it, for I shall not pass this way
again." Ettiene De Grellet

What Motivates You?
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talents won

      It seems like Talent still have an edge over Popularity? or was it Popularity + Talent beat Looks alone? Taufik Batisah won the Singapore Idol on WED. Something i felt Taufik deserves... Great performance by Taufik, Slyvester once again did not really shine... until his last song 'I Dream', he is slightly better... i guess, he really dream and can only dream to be Singapore Idol...

      Unfortunately, it seems like Taufik will not be heading to the World Idol stage... This was pretty disappointing as Singapore Artiste will never shine if they are not in World Stage... We all know, you and i... Yet, Slyvester was offered a same one year contract, making the winner and runner-up having the same prize...

      On Thurs, i went to my new unit that i will be heading to after the driving course... I will be there for 4 days before my driving... and the 2 days wasn't easy for us... The discipline was once again demanded... We tend to slack and need time to adjust back to BMT life, for some... its worst... I am now in 3rd DIV, 3SIG which won Best Combat Support & Best Signal Unit... So you can expect alot more to come...

      The morale was pretty low... but i guess, the platton finally wake up that this is ARMY.. no longer having the chalet treatment (apart from food) we used to receive in Signal Insitute... Have a talk with our potential PC... The food at 3rd DIV, is so much more better... simply delicious... That was the only comfort from the sudden hard work... Back to the chin up regime... etc... I think i will soon be back to BMT shape again... when UIP (Unit Induction Program) starts...

     Don't worry, i am inspired to survive and hope the platoon will survive too...

Normal- Just normal, simply yourself. You are like
a mixture of all results. Funny when your
girlfriend needs cheering up, caring when
needed, sort of rude when you're pissed, a
little bit macho when you brag about something, etc...
P.S: Dont change, your girlfriend loves you the
way you are ^-^

What kind of boyfriend are you? (for guys! with pics!^0^)
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Youngest Child...

Strengths: You're charming, laid-back,
entertaining, and funny-the life of the party,
whether you're actually AT a party or in class!
So you don't have much trouble getting noticed
buy the opposite sex. Plus, you're great at
reading people and working with others.

Weaknesses: You crave attention-so much so that you
sometimes steal the spotlight (whether you
realize it or not). Being a free spirit, you
can come off as a flaky (like when you forget
about a date to hang out with your friends) or
impatient (like when you can't sit still
through boring family parties).

You're ideal match: You might think an
overachieveing oldest or only child would be
too serious for you, but they're actually your
best bet. Pairing up with another baby of the
family could be too chaotic. With a firstborn
(or a middle born who's like one), you'll show
them a good time and they'll take care of you
so you don't party yourself into the ground!

What's Your Perfect Match?
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Ups & Downs

      Happy... disappointed... sad... touched... great... poor... anxiety... stressed... These were just few words to describe how i felt all these while... many things happened... happy moments and, of course, the unwanted disappointing moments...

      After meeting old friends over Siang's BBQ, i felt so good... i always love to hang out with them... But... Disappointment soon arrived... Feng's appearance was rather unexpected... and her needs for cash is more unexpected... but still i lent her the amount (not small to me)... When i am still pondering about this matter... Jian Xin urge me to get a shirt since he is getting one and i do show interest in getting one... (those short-sleeves) Although i am rather happy and excited in getting one... which suited me quite well... our relationship with Kwang Rong had become worse... No matter how a person is... i still feel sad for making a friendship shaky...

      Last Saturday, i went out with Jiemin, Eddie, Joseph, Wee Teck, Jonathan, Guan Ming, PC 2LT Hong & Sgt Terence... i was quite happy that Eddie managed to invite Hong & Terence along... Its wasn't a big party going on... just a simple steamboat dinner at Marina Bay... We chat along and watched 'Taxi' after most of us wanted to watched the show, anyway... its a very nice show... Its been weeks since i last saw them... Miss all those good old days... spent with them... No matter how hard the training is... we simply ENDURED... IMPROVED along the way... and most of us, EXCEL... Took one photos but unfortunately, Jiemin & Terence left earlier... so they were not in the picture...

      On Mon, we had SUM EX (Summary Exercise)... FUN!!! but tiring... learnt quite alot... not very happy with my day performance... but as for night, i think i do quite well in helping other detachments... But the practical test + a little bit of theory stressed me up... As it was held on THURS & FRI... while my guard duty falls on WED night... so wasn't in my tip-top condition... and on FRI's test... which is today, i somehow mentally blocked on my Theory for SSD & mixed up some equipment test between CNRI & MUX... was very disappointed... luckily, managed to bounce back in the last segment, SSD practical....

     Hence it was rather 2 weeks of ups & down... and my SI course is coming to an end... will get posting results on MON... which i will also be having a very difficult theory test on the same day... heard many unexpected questions will pop out... Just hope for the best lor... haha...

What Kind of Kiss Are You?
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Endless Road...

     Its rather unbelievable... On Sat, i am performing my guard duties at my campsite... As a sentry, i stood there rather alone as i never talk to the 2IC when i was guarding the camp. At one point of time, even the 2IC was resting... and i was there all alone... Its a two hour shift... So in the beginning, i was thinking about the designs for my new blog, logo etc... All the designing stuff... but as the time passed by, i stopped drawing and begin to think back about my life...

      I had always felt that there was one invisible wall preventing me to move towards my ambition, my goals... a wall that i am rather helpless with... I am not living in a life that i wanted to live in... No... i am not feeling depressed... neither was i feeling down... i was simply thinking about what was happening in the recent years... *smile* i was rather useless, isn't it? Thinking about the past, thinking about the friendship i lost... And why am i thinking about the friendship that i would never get back? or should i say, back to how it used to be...

      At times, i would still be sad and regretted in losing friendships... e.g. Feng & Weiliang... Its all because of my character, things become this state... Everything could have been good and nothing could have happened... *laugh* What's the point of telling myself all these when i know that its easier to be said than done... And soon... my shift ended... and i went to take a rest...

      What was rather surprising was that Feng attended Siang's birthday... I was actually thinking about the possibility but in the end telling myself, "why am i always think that things would happen?"... As there are many times, i hoped and wished... but was only disappointed in return... But this time round, she was... finally... there... with a good news too... she was now with a boyfriend... was rather happy for her... No matter what, we used to be close friends... and she used to be my god-daughter... *laugh...

     I still can remember, we normally never chat much during gathering... after things happened... but last night managed to chat a little.. and i was pleased that i was able to face her... Rather contented with how things are going... Somehow i could relate myself with JJ's Endless Road... A song i was addicted to since i first heard of it... The music soothed my feelings and i think its a song that described my feelings now... *laugh*

A:

You take the Beaten Path. After all, that's what it's there for right? You are content with the options already laid out for you definitely of the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." frame of mind. You tend to be a follower rather than a leader, but that's fine because all good leaders must first be good followers. You tend to follow the crowds living life the tried and true way, often letting others make the decisions.Just don't forget you have a mind too. Never be afraid to voice your ideas or opinions, no matter how ridiculous others may think they are. This beaten path is your comfort zone, you want and deserve company on your travels trough life as you are probably a very friendly and kind individual, always putting the needs of others before your own. That's an excellent and all too rare quality.Never lose it. But being surrounded isn't always the best.

People tend to try and take charge and advantage of the fact and if you aren't careful, it'll be your life that's been taken over. Venture away from your well-traveled road and find your own away. Head down that road less-traveled and see what's there because though the path you're on may have been done before, that doesn't necessarily make it the right one for you. Step out of your comfort zone and take some risks you wouldn't normally take, make mistakes, and make some time for just you. Indulge and be a little selfish. You'll come out all the better for it.

What Path Do You Take In Life?
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:: SPECIAL NOTICE ::

     This Blog will continue its service till a new template is created by me... Till then, the blog @ might be changed as well... Thank you for reading my blog...

Tiring But Interesting...

     TCS EXE, follow up with an CNRI Practical the following day... These two days was rather fulfilling for me... Not only did i enjoyed myself... even its tired... its interesting... only the waiting was the most tiring part... The hands-on was very fun... we get to touch the equipment u need to set up the TCS... in TCS EXE...

      Its very fun... my detailed/detachment worked very well... surprisingly... Especially the day time... we know what we should do and we trust each other in our job... we set up in a very short time... we even beat 2 detachment which was supposed to be the first two to finish due to the complexity of our type of detachment... We impressed our S/SGT Dean... she said she was pretty impress... no mistake... nothing... totally steady bom beep beep... haha... in the end we had lots of resting time...

      The night time was rather disappointing... We started off well and we are the first few to set up.. but due to equipment's failure... we need to redo the whole set up... becoming the last few to set up and, of course, tore down also...

      CNRI is a totally different topic altogether... yes... its still within the TCS... but its more of the linkage and system... not much of setting up antenna etc... So it was much more less tiring mending the system...

     I was made the Platoon IC today... Supposed to be on Mon, but due to some changes... i was changed to today. As the discipline and marching wasn't up to standard, i tried to give command slightly louder, firm-er and try to control the platoon. They were rather cooperative as in to some extend... Maybe still not to the standard... but improving a little... Hope that i can change them a little... I am quite surprised that i never give wrong command on my first day of work... haha... BMTC, i was pretty jialat... so i guess, i have grown up yet again... c",)

Diagnosis

Type B: 25% Moody

It is not easy that you would be out of control with your temper. Even if Something makes you mad or sad, as long as it is not too far out of your limit, you can control yourself. However, once your limit is crossed, you might explode and forget who you are. You have strong self control.

From another angle, you only allow your true self come out in front of a few selective people; which means you might get into a fight with a loved one or close friend more often because of this personality.

Kitty Test

Updates

     So much to say... so little space to have... this three weeks, many things had happened... but notable ones? Not really... But all because of my cpu down for three weeks... i had lots of time to think of what i have been through... All these years... to many, they might say... its nothing new to Ashton... but to me.. every recap is always new...

      I shalln't ellaborate more as i will keep it till the end of 2004 then i will post it... haha.. its something pretty emotional... From a bubbly plump little boy to a rather quiet and mature young man... the evolution took a lot of process and many people along the way helped me to get to where i really am and who i really are...

      The way i behaves... the way i present myself... my style doctors... the confidence i adopt along the way... i get out of the nutshell and view this wonderful world with more expectation... but of course... whenever there is expectation... there is disappointment... so i guess... i have a fair share of disappointment as well...

      Since SI did not have exercise... i adopt weekend exercise like swimming, jogging and badminton last few weeks... its does not have much impact due to the fact that the duration of each exercise apart from badminton was not long enough... hence i will increase the workload and the time... maybe 2 rounds instead of 1 around my neighbourhood... 70++ sit ups instead of just 50 and 20 laps instead of just 5-10 laps of pool... hope it will works... or else... hmm... all the hardwork will gone into waste again... haha...

     Academic-wise... not too bad lar... VP get 40+ out of 50 (no exact score given), 2 E-Exams : IWE = 72%, ANT = 60+% (never study)... haha... practical test also get praised by instructor with 0 mistake at Vehicle segment... so happy... But i am slacking these days... so need to buck up a little... if not might not even get good results... not to say what best trainee... hmm.. time for another run... c",)

Back to School

     Never had i thought that i would ever need a pencil case again... Never had i thought that i would need to write... to study... Never had i thought that i would not need to take IPPT Test, at least for the time being...

     I am enrolled into Signal Institute (used to be known as School of Signal)... Trainee's life was much more simpler compared to BMTC's life... Not much physical training but from what my course sergeant said... there will be some exercises that requires lots of strength etc... But currently, i am studying, like poly, from 8~6pm.... having praticals, theory, e-learning... Once a week, there will be IPPT Specific training with run... but its not as tough as it sounds like...

      Due to many short free time in between, me and John keep on thinking how much we miss Jaguar... Jaguar till now is still the best... ever... I miss the punishment... i miss the run... i miss the SOC... i miss the wonderful discipline from my platoon... i simply miss my platoon mates... my buddies... my pals... u name it... i'll miss it...

      The spirit will never be the same here compared to Jaguar... We struggled through lots of training... motivating each other... have fun together... joked around... fooled around... poking fun at each other... a very memorable feeling... All those times we spent together had since been kept at my heart... And i do hope that i could see them real soon...

     Not to say that Signal is not good... but i just wanted a more disciplined-required and physically-trained environment... Now i could just try to get the best trainee in the two-month course...

NS Liability: Phase 2 Begins

     The time has come... after much disappointment... even if tears did fall... its time to report to my new posting... I need to pick myself up once again after this expected fall... In order to stand up tall once again, i need to prepare for the next IPPT... I would have to pass it... How? my weakest stations are SBJ and Chin Ups...

     I had tried to keep myself busy these days... in order not to have extra free time to thought about what was going on... Many people might simply ask... what is there to think about? Yes... true to some extend... since i am not in any position to change anything... i have to move on isn't it? Even if i know all these, i just can't help to think and regret... All the 'what if' came up to my mind...

      I went out on Friday evening with Boon Hui, Tim, Edwin, Samuel, Calvin & Jon... Play Lan games... chit chat... Boon Hui and i left earlier since both of us have to meet other people... He and his girlfriend... while me with my polymates... I went to Liquan's house overnight with HangMing & WeiPing. Then, wandering around Tampinese with Boon Hui yesterday for just one hour before headed back SengKang... This morning, i went swimming with my family... Nice and relaxing... It's been a long time since i last submerge in water... and i swam, for the first time, many laps... feel the strain on arm... but happy to be there...

      Feeling down these days... i have talk to some friends... Hwee Li, Boon Hui, Jiemin... While others did voice out their concern.. Its nice to have them... Give me sometime... i will try and make the best out of this posting... who knows? maybe i get a chance to go commanding school? or even get a bigger role than ever? Just pray for me out there... c",)

     There was once a friend told me this... "If all the pillars were to fall... you will be the last pillar standing..." So i guess... i will pull it through once again...

Have you ever...

     So what, if i say i try hard...? Did i try hard enough? Am i sure i did? Can i blame anyone from what's happening? So what, if you know the answer to all these questions? So what?

     Its like happening in every phase of my life... PSLE, O-level, SAT Test, Diploma... now BMTC... I always said that i try hard in each test, examination... but did i try hard enough? what am i doing while people are revising? what am i doing when people are pulling up one after another? Yes, i did remedial training... but did i do enough? or should i say that i should have start earlier? I am already fortunate to meet with many good people in life and had a smooth journey till now even if i didn't get what i wanted...

      Chong Li Prelim was the first obstacles as i was dropped to EM2 last class after many of my friends went EM1 or EM1-mix-EM2 classes... Then PSLE make me get into a Secondary School which was never my choice... But i am glad that i have many good/close friends there... In Sec 2, my maths results was not enough for me to make it to double maths class which is the only science class in our school... but still many of my good friends are from the class i was in... 'O' level results was disappointing putting me into ECC, NYP... even though my second choice... i never like electronics... Results in Poly was very bad or should say average... that might not allow me to go University (i was rejected during previous application)

     Every phase of my life... i felt the disappointment... the rejection... the unexplained feeling... Though partly due to people around me... but mostly because myself... i had been letting myself down... if i work hard enough... i would not be where i am now... i know i did not do well enough but... what did i do after that? nothing... never had i put in more effort... so could i blame anyone? Absolutely not... i have only myself to be blame... many people feel that i am competitive when i compare my results with others... but the truth is.. i can't even beat myself... how will i get to compare with others...

     Will i ever suceed and do what i love to do? Bowling... unlikely after failure in poly... Singing... still not up to standard... Sports... don't think have much chance... Designing... too old to be nurtured... guess... i have to work hard, real hard now... in what i have... and make the best out of it...

     If only i had worked hard enough, things could have been so much different...

Genting Experience [26 - 29 Sept 04]

     Flu, fever, cough... these are the illness that we had during this trip... Since the first day, Boon Hui had slight fever... Jie Min during Day 2 while my flu was from Day 1... Its a setback for us not enjoying ourselves to the fullest due to the sickness... but nevertheless... the trip was still enjoyable and fun... and we get to know each other better...

     This trip consist of 7 person, namely Guan Ming, Jie Min, Boon Hui, Wei Zhi, Wee Teck, Tee Rong and ME! i was the only one who were from Section 4... We went shopping, eating, sleeping, playing... We left out Theme Park due to the price and lack of interest in majority... We ate lots of stuff... and of course, we splited up and moved around in a smaller group... Some went to see some exhibits... some went bowling... while some went to Observatory... we did took some pictures here and there... we also went to Karaoke (its damn expensive, but enjoyable lar...)

      Never had i know that Boon Hui lived in the same area as i do... We were Platoon mates for 3 months and only on Saturday, we found out that we lived in Punggol/SengKang... Its mere coincidence or its fate... POP that day... we left at different time yet we caught the same fastcraft... and even though he landed first... we took the same bus to Pasir Ris... and during our trip, we have the same taste as we choose the same stuff like gift, clothes, food etc... we seems to have lots of things in common...

     On whole, its a nice trip... my second independant trip to overseas... First was the Balai Trip... I simply love the time spent and the no-restriction way of doing things... Simply Great.... Malaysia, Truly Asia....

NS Liability: Phase 1 Completed

     3 months of BMTC life has ended on Friday... We gathered together and was addressed for the last time as a platoon... as Jaguar... Its rather emotional... yet no one shed a single tear... All of us are happy to graduate from the school... Some of us might get ourselves in SISPEC, OCS while the others in Units as Man... I'm more likely to get myself into the third category... Due to my IPPT Failure, my PC say i likely to become man...

     Its great to know people in Jaguar... In fact, i met alot of good friends there... i will definitely miss them... i will be heading to Genting with them these days... So i guess, its the first and might be the last time we go overseas together...

     After the Pass-Out Parade (POP), i rushed to Braddell. When i reached... they were clearing the canteen... Managed to see Ms Aljunied, Mdm Ong and Mr Ow... Non of them can recognise me... The rest keep saying i went for Extreme Makeover *laugh* Its always nice to see your teacher... people who helped you in your life... Apart from the teachers... i saw Qiang, Eunice, Diana & Liying... We had a good chat after that...

     Yesterday, i renew my passport and went to collect my 2 free sling bags due to the membership for SAFRA & Music Club... We (army friends) went on to play LAN game... its always fun and enjoyable... After that i met up with Aris to saw Laura off... She went to Scotland to study... At the airport, saw Salleh, Ben, Huiqi, Zul, Aisha etc... Half the BK was occupied by Laura's friend... *laugh*

     I am kind of disappointed with Jannah. She was supposed to be there... in the end, she didn't come... as usual... and even if i asked her to meet up after she settle her stuff... her reply was with some attitude... its rather disappointing... I guess, we wouldn't have any more chance to meet up le... so its up to her whether she still wan Ris and i as friends... as in.. keep in contact out of the busy schedule...

finally

     Last weekend, internet connection had some problems... but i think it was solved... This was the last week of BMTC Training... everything boils down to the Pass-Out-Parade... Drills after Drills after Drills... our company drills doesn't look promising though... Its kind of disappointing...

     Why i can book out on week days? its because Drill team were given half a day off... hence... I was supposed to book out after lunch... around 1pm after much delay... Then more delays follow up... From 1pm change to 3pm, to 4pm, to 5pm... and finally ya... 5pm... but we wait till ard 5.20pm as we allow the perm staff (those with ranks) to leave first... even the workers there goes first...

     Its the last week of BMT, which means my last chance to pass IPPT... currently i left with chin up... i did only 3 chin ups... 3 off the passing mark.. can i make it? i hope so... as i will be able to go overseas... to Genting with my friends le... Training hard... but like not hard enough...

     One week more and my life for the next two years will be decided...

2 more weeks to go

     Hours ago, i just booked out from Tekong... Hours later, i will be back in Tekong... Why? Guard Duties... Its rather tiring this week... not because of any packed schedules... as i think it was rather fine... Its that many things happened.. and many tests etc.

     The only good news is that i was selected for the 30-strong drill team (a.k.a Dream Team) for Jaguar Coy. It was rather surprising. There are people who i think better than me... and i work hard to be up to standard... and there i was... the last few to be selected. Even though Jaguar's drill is rather shitty... but still my platoon's drill was solid still... I'm rather happy to be able to make it thus far...

     SOC, as LOW WALL had always been my main obstacle in the whole course... i got over it... i managed to climb over it... but my hopes were simply dashed when i dropped down on the Swing Trainer. Even if i managed to complete the whole course after that... my disappointment simply drag my speed in completing the course... and in the end... i break down... really... i break down in disappointment... the kind of feelings was very very... *sigh*... but my whole platoon was rather supportive... they take turn to console me... i managed to cool down about 10-20mins later...

     As for Basic Assault Course (BAC), a so-called test for Basic Close Combat Training (BCCT), it was rather easy... although it was very dirty... but we can simply imagine our targets as our Sch. Sergent Major... so *laugh* ... it was very easy... simply bring our aggression out...

      I just saw the photos taken during our Field Camp and a Platoon photo... it brings lots of memories back... imagine we went through so much together... i will cherish the photos... definitely... what will happen 2 weeks later will still be an unknown... but i am sure that friendship will remains...

life lesson

     Apart from the military stuff... i learnt alot from my buddy, we talk a little bit on the first night of our SITEST. Talk about life, human behavior etc... rather enriching talk... i learnt a lot from this intellectual conversation. I felt that i grew stronger throughout these days... I overcome my physical weakness & height phobia by completing tasks... and mentality strengthened...

     Last day of SITEST was accessed by a DJ from Power98... He showed us a fierce face... neither do his voice or action help him... he did warn and scold us during our mission due to lacking of urgency... i strongly agree... but its harsh for all of us still... during lunch time, he sit with us and tell us that its his job and apologised if he hurt anyone of us... i felt that he deserve my respect... this is the kind of people i respect... they did their job and don't mind being nasty... but when its resting time, get closer to the people... i wanted to be someone like him... i'm aspired to be...

     Singapore Idol standard was slightly higher than last weak, hence its something encouraging huh? Went for the family gathering... same comments floated... but managed to 'update' myself with the latest thing about our generation etc. So i guess, it wasn't really a wasted trip? *laugh*

SITEST over? all camps over...

     SITEST, a situational test that took us 3D2N to complete... In the test, we were given different missions, different obstacles... and 13 of us from different platoon, different companies were group together... everyone will have a chance to be IC and 2IC...

     Everyone will be given a special skills to learn... 7 skills for 13 persons... and in between each missions... we were asked to present some basic knowledge to other members... me? i was a LAW gunner... Light Anti-Tank Weapon... Damn heavy lor... and its very bulky... very pain while running with it... very tiring...

     Basically, the missions was fun and need alot of wit... although my Detail, I (India), wasn't the best or fast enough... we did cooperate & we succeed well... We do have one rather wayang kind... but nevermind, the rest was good... and we were having pain, tiredness but enjoying the mission itself... If only lesser running & walking... its tiring and legs often cramps while sleeping or resting...

     I went for the Dentist in PTMC (Pulau Tekong Medical Center)... the dentist was rather f**k up lor... not gentle or detailed enough... complaints could be heard lor... and if you were there, you will wonder if all girls were scared of him... haha... there was a 'tigeress' there lor... but in the end, turn into cat while talking to him... she kept stuttering... damn funny...

Singapore Idol Report Card

THE HOST/JUDGES: 2/10

     Gurmit trys too hard to act like a good host... or even Ryan Seacrest... But unfortunately, he is more like a clown... a very bad host indeed... His humour aren't funny... either... All for judges simply make a fool of themselves... They might be right at points of the show... but still they lack of creativity and full of sacarism doesn't make the show good to watch...

THE TALENTS: 3/10

     One or two did show some talent... but unfortunately still not enough... only 3 are more pleasant and all three enter Top 10 in last night's episode... The qualifiers also show that good english is very much needed... and those mixed-race can sing better?0

THE PROGRAMME: 1/10

     The show introduce the same format as American Idol yet they have both the competition & results both at the same day... If that's the case... The contestants need not re-sing to let the audience listen what they had earlier the evening... Its a very bad move... The cutting of the music and the video in the show showed that the producer sucks big time...

     If this doesn't get better... don't expect good response or even a second season of IDOLS...

field camp review

     I had just returned from the island of Tekong... managed to survive the field camp even i did almost fall sick along the way... i can endure all the food ration... hence food-wise, its still ok for me... there are rations that is pretty nice... like chicken bolognese etc...

     Day 1, everything was still fine... till Day 2... the weather turned bad and began to rain... And the downpour brought the whole place to muddy & our uniform was wet... including the boots that should have last us for 7 days... In the end? the boots wet and i get foot rot the very next day... the boots never been dry at all... despite changing socks, adding powder etc...

     i shouldn't say our camp was tough... in fact all of us know that it was the weather that was tough... i fall sick after the rain and felt feverish that very night... then the next morning have flu... at around last few days... the weather was damn hot... till i get headache and almost collapsed... but i pulled it through... Apart from foot rot... i also get heat rash and other rashes, blue black etc...

     Despite all the setbacks, its was rather a memorable experience... the bond within the platoon get tougher... and i became a little more confident as i was picked to lead a song after being 'discovered' by a sergent for having a 'cool' voice... i panicked and screwed the beginning... but he asked me to carry on and i managed to lead the whole damn song... after that, i am more willing to help up in leading even though i always did so lar... *laugh*

life range is over

     After going for the many computer test/lesson for rifle-firing... last week, i finally went to the life range... it wasn't the same as the computer's version... as in recoils... grip... target etc... IMT definitely easier... But then, i passed after i changed the rifle twice... I was rather tired after the 3 days... 2nd day ended around 12pm and i only managed to sleep from 1am-6am... but then it was fun...

     Yesterday was a movie marathon for me, i guess... i watched 2 movies... Twins Effect II & The Collateral... Twins was rather fun to watch... it really lightens my mood... its been long since i enjoyed such a movie... As for latter one, it wasn't leaving much impact on me... it was rather boring to me... i don't know about the twins, Ris & Jian Long doze off a little bit during the movie... me? almost... i watch Twins with Allan, Wee Teck, Joseph & Jon... Allan was in a rush like me... but for me, i rush to meet Ris they all, only to know that i was fooled... as for Allan, he need to rush back to Tekong for Guard's Duty...

     Hmm... it's seems like i had entered the so-called most fun week, this week... With Field Camp up next, i wonder what BMT will be like... Field Camp was taunted the best time for us to enjoy in BMT... while BMT was the best in our army life... Just hope that i enjoy it... With the Field Camp, i would be missing my next weekend...

finally its here...

     Graduation Day for the class of 2004... a day many of us have been waiting for... a day we strived for, for 3 years... a day we drop our "Poly students" tag... We are now poly graduates... For people in army, we yearn for this day as we finally get one more day rest and met up wit all the friends we were not able to meet up... Many of us are busy with our own stuff and this day, we gather together once more... even though the time are short... but at least, we are able to catch up with each other...

     Rajesh & Phyo did our mentor group proud by attaining the Diploma with merits... They deserve to be where they are now... and i am happy for them... I was running around the Atrium on that day itself for photo taking... I was rather busy... i had friends from mentor group & specialisation group calling me up... But it was nice though...

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 57%
Visual : 42%
Left : 44%
Right : 55%

Ashton, you show a slight right-hemisphere dominance with a moderate preference for auditory processing, an unusual and somewhat paradoxical combination of characteristics.

You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel.

Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary.

Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and unidimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes creates conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow.

Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which can then be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire.

You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a "mystic."

With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to "listen to your inner voice" as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals.

choices

     I didn't really thought about this issue until Twins ask me... i want to continue my study, at the same time interested in signing on... hence its kind of confusing me currently... Since i am not really interested to sign on as an officer, my chances of getting a bond to study is not there... but, of course, i will try to keep my body in tip top condition as to open up my choices... Now the question for me is, whether i should sign...

     Last week was rather busy... Basic Combat Training was rather tiring and the instructor expect us to have lots of aggression... Hence, we need to act fast, react fast, shout loud & listen to instruction carefully... My rifle test was also held in the week, where i successfully pass...

     Almost lost my key, again, on my way back... Thankfully, one kind soul shout for me and wait for me at the other bus stop with my keys and some coins... It seems like you do get return for doing good deeds... Before that, i packed stuff and passed it to my buddy's (army buddy system) dad... All his uniform etc...

CCA Transcript...

     Just received my CCA transcript... and YES!!! i did it... thought i could only acheive an 'A', i score Distinction... 5 points... so happy... i worked hard for it since i am weaker in my academic, i hope that this could help me getting into NTU...

     Yesterday night, i went to Orchard with HangMing, Wei Ping & Liquan... Bought the Z. Chen's CD, save Z. Haven't listen to it... later will listen to it on my way to meet Ris & Twins for a swim... As for the run, it was cancelled.. I bought the CD since SAF only allow original CD to be brought to Tekong & this CD was a selection of his previous CD... and i like a number of tracks while i had never listen to a number of tracks either... haha...

     My cousin stayed overnight last night and was 'pestering' me until she went to sleep, which is i went to sleep... She was really very energetic... she say she prefer that i look fatter... haha... anyway... she was here just to see me since her mum or grandma told her i was around and i had slim down... haha... so i wonder should i gain or should i lose weight...

when my BMT finally begins...

     Not really a busy week apart from yesterday... This whole week was rather slack... normal training... no SOC... 2 route march... which cause my muscle to over-strain (excused running, jumping & marching for 4 days) but Friday was the most busy day...

     Since early morning, we drew arms... then we have to fall in for a M-16 LIVE firing demostration (organised by Hawk Coy) before returning for lunch... After lunch... we prepared for our IPPT Categorised Test 2... which was poseponed later due to bad weather... After dinner, we fall in once again and march to the venue where the Rifle ceremony will be held... to officially claim our rifle... At night before lights off, we were called to remove the soccer poles to one side of the field... Then we really can rest...

     Afraid of screwing up the ceremony... it went well for me... one of the few which never forget to greet my PC and say 'thank you' while returning to my platoon's position... So i was rather relieved... But i do not know why... i feel rather sad with the fact that my chin-up show no improvement... hope that i can break the ZERO soon...

sing without a voice

     Without the presence of my powerful vocal... Koon Ek shone with his versatile voice... Ris, on the other hand, belts out numerous songs... his voice improved tremendously since the last time i heard from him... he definitely know what song is made for his voice... As for twins... they did not forcefully sang the way they used to do...

     The soul... the fun... the energy... the emotions... everything was there... i did sing... but was one of the worst singer there due to sore throat etc. that i got in Tekong... Jenson refused to sing through the mike due to the same reason as well... But it was an enjoyable night... We were comfortable with each other and have lots of fun... Especially with the Macy Gray's voice & the MTV that have Labelle (if i did not spell wrongly) singing Lady Marmalade... *Woah~!*

     With Ek, Twins & Jenson joining us late... Me & Ris met up to catch a movie... SUPER SIZE ME was rather real, yet comically presented... Thank God that i lose my weight through exercise... and i almost cry out due to the real life experience i went through... when i saw the movie... i was like "that was once.... me..." even if i wasn't having that kind of McLife.... *haha* Our seats was bad as we were right in front... the A seats... You didn't have to imagine that... but i guess... its was 10/10 for information-wise and merely 2/10 for movie/excitement-wise...

Spiderman 2

     I watched the movie with WeiPing, Liquan & Hang Ming... This week is for Photonics people... i mean poly friends... unfortunately all were not able to make it... in the end.. its the 4 musketeers again... haha...

     We sit down and chat etc... and went to watch the Spiderman 2... It was rather an okay movie... maybe i expect more impact... more feeling on me... but its rather ordinary... the effects was good... the story was so-so... rather normal ba... but overall... i shall give 7/10 ba.... for the overall feeling...

     This sequel focus more on the emotional part as in more about the love story between Spidey & Mary Jane... & the friendship between Harry (forget his name) & Spidey... so its not as big impact as the 1st one... focusing on the fight between Evil & Good...      Anyway, its the first movie with these guys... its nice to see them... and we happens to be from different company... from Bravo... Foxtrot... Hawk and me Jaguar...

IPPT Distruption Test

     Friday was a day filled with emotions... 7 friends went out of Tekong... they passed their IPPT... For me? Only improvements were seen... Sit ups... i managed to hit 41 (used to be 30-35)... 2.4Km? 11.41min (14.0min) as for 4x10 shuttle run... now is 10.6 (can't remember)... SBJ? 207cm (can't remember)... Chin up? still the same as ever... ZERO!!!

     In the end... i failed SBJ & Chin Up... i guess my training was not strong enough... and i decided to start self training from this MON onwards... Seems like only intensive training can help me to improve better... for the failed items... Upper body's strength are also needed for SOC

     Managed to clear Obstacles 2-11 but not the low wall... need more training on upper body and jumping to clear it... i believe i can do it... but i need to put more actions rather than simply words... Watch out for me, people...

essence of army

     Hardwork... Endurance... Discipline... Adaptibility... These are just some of the many qualities required in Army life... Even though now i am having the IPPT phase, which was taunted to be the honeymoon period of my army life... i can feel the tiredness & the pressure in it...

     Fast... Right.... Everything has to be done in the right way at the fastest time... In army, time is definitely very important... It is understandable as enemy will not give us much time in the war front... we must have the wit to outclass, outwit, outshine...

     Almost a month as a Jaguar Warrior... *laugh* Many people say i changed alot... as in appearance... i guess my heart remains... which was a good thing... i was afraid i changed alot in terms of character... I guess i am the same old brand new ME!!!

     Darker... Slimmer... Almost unrecognisable.... or should i say totally unrecognisable... This was the comments i got from many people... i meet up with Bel, Jia Hui & Xinyi yesterday... and we went back to THPZ... None of them can really recognise me... only when i stand in front of them for awhile before they started notice that i am who i am... Liang... *laugh*... Stupid Bel even say i look like Blangadeshi... and say why army torture me till like that... *laugh* so i guess, you can imagine how i look like now...

     I used to say this is a slimming camp for me... i guess i am wrong... it is not only a slimming camp... but a toning camp... it make me stronger in many aspect of me... from mentality to physical... i can feel muscle aching or even small muscles forming... so its definitely something i don't mind *haha* but need to be stronger as currently i am not strong enough... for people who have not enter the NS... you must really trained up... it will do you good...

Peace. You Truly Desire Peace. Just relaxing
somewhere calm with a light breeze against your
cheecks is our ideal of pefect. You don't like
to start fights, but instead, end them without
using violence.

What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla

15 Days in Tekong

     Everything seems to be quite fine... with all the introduction to regimentation & discipline and other activities like Standard Obstacle Course (SOC) or the Road March... etc... damn tired but still managable...

     Body begins to adapt to the physically tough activities... 1st route march... i have breathing difficulties... 2nd one slightly better... SAT's third one... i was really keeping up the pace and i feel good...

     I felt really good to complete things i know i will suffer... apart from road march (or route march)... i managed to clear the last 6 SOC items even though afraid of height... 2 of them requires to stand quite high... to conquer my fear for the moment is a sense of acheivement lor... so im glad i managed to go through it like a MAN! haha... as for the first 5... have not try... but should require lots of arm strength... haiz... much be prepared soon...

     There was 3 days which i felt like 3 years... As there are time for us to visit the Medical Officer (MO)... i am not able to go as i past the time... so in the end... i went on SAT but... Dentist was not around... In the end... the MO gives me painkiller only... It helps a little only... but i am suffering like hell even though i was on MC (attend B) for 3 days... In the end... my face swell on SUN night... Mon morning... i looks like ChipMunks... totally a new face... u will not believe its me de....

     But now... its getting better... just needed to do some follow up treatment.... hmm... guess i am losing a bit of weight lor... coz pants like baggy... *laugh* Anyway... i was in the Jaguar Company's Drill Contigent... the Drill team... considering the highest honour for a recruit... but tough training as we are expected to do well... We gell up well in one day time... so i think we can do it... *smile*... Guess that's all for the time being... Take CareZ!

You are Xuan Wu!
Mythological background: Because the turtle has a
thick, solid shell that serves as protection -
this animal is associated with stability.
You enjoy intellectual pursuits.
Also, in Feng Shui (the Chinese myths behind choosing a house), the black turtle's solidity is used to protect from cold northern winds.

Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

farewell

     10.42am now... Hang Ming, Shun Li, Han Keong, Jian Long & likely Peter are all inside now le... me will be joining them in hours time... This week also saw Wei Ping, Derrick, Wei Qiang, Yong Hao's enlistment... My time is about to come...

     Slightly panic over things like... files not fully back-up... Whether i brought enough things or did i bring too much things inside... and i hope i will not pull down my platoon mates due to my low fitness level... But i guess... i have no choice but go for it...

     Yesterday, i went to meet two groups of friends... THPZ & E5 friends... Morning and night... i managed to take pictures with Liyan, Yuyan, Jia Hui & Xinyi.... Forgotten to bring my camera... i can only chat with Eunice, Liying & Siang...

     We catch up with eat other's life... but i guess in the end... the highlights were the appointment of 2 fathers & 1 sister (or issit 2?)... We shall not go in depth on this.... it seems like i will miss my friends...

     I was actually pretty touched to have people wishing me good in MSN, ICQ, Phone, SMSes... although i was pretty busy the whole night... and i slept only at 3am... i was contented... as in... i was not complaining... i felt the warmth from them... I guess... its time to go and take a shower... and prepare to have my head balded... erm... i mean shaved....

SINGAPORE... Here I Comes~~~

a path that took 3 years...

     These 3 years... i had gone through alot... but with the least problems compared to my other friends... At least... i have lots of people who do care for me all these years... All treated me like their own little brother... take really good care of me...

     Friends around me had been complaining how competitive their classmates are... how worthless people around them are to be their friends... how unfriendly they are... etc... but i... did not really face this problem all my life... yes... i do suffer from depression over friends... but i guess... its due to my own problem... not others... maybe i always expect alot in life... causing more unhappiness...

     when i am down, there are people who would come over me and asked if i am alright... there are people who would noticed and care... but not express themselves... or even people who sits down and talk to me... or should i say FORCE me to talk... haha...

     Many people said before... You can have lots of friends... but those really true friends are less than 10.... but fortunately... i have more than 10 true friends... and at least 10 person i treated as buddies... They are people i don't mind dying for... if they need me... i shall be there... if not physically at least mentally...

     Never had a chance to thank them... nor had the courage to say the word "THANK YOU"... its seems so easy... just two words... but i seems to changed alot.. and the more close u are to me... the more difficult for me to say "THANK YOU" but no matter how... if these people get to see this post... i would like to say a big.....

T H A N K  Y O U !

last but hope not the least

     After disappointment over not able to go sentosa... today went Orchard with Jun Hao & Wen before joining the rest for a BBQ-Chatting session at Lower Seletar... Its was a relieved since today was a rainy day... Hence, Thank GOD we were not in Sentosa...

     We tried on clothes in TopMan... & went to have dinner at COSi @ Scotts.... Nice western restaurant... Its drinks & fusili wasn't very sweet or salty... just nice... but kind of a little cold... wonder if the fusili was supposed to be cold...

     In the end, after Aris last minute withdrawal, 7 of us headed to Seletar for the session... Jeremy, Yiliang, Jenson, Hao, Wen, Jocelyn & me!! We have such a nice time... even that twins make me like Maria... haha... no, they called me Suzanna... Anyway... its better than the previous session... The BBQ was a success... haha... We took photos and enjoyed having each other there...

     So fast... 3 years is over... Can still remember the first day in Poly... we are not close or don't even talk to each other... haha... seldom i mean... and now all are friends for so long le... close enough for some of us... even Jenson is with his gf for 2 years le... Hmmm....

     One more day to go, before my next pace of life begins... hmm... gonna miss this world... or this part of my life... memories... shall be kept next to my heart....

missing u

     I'm just tired... Went for Basketball in the morning... then.. in the evening... went for the Dinner with Photonics Classmates...

     Apart from 5 (2 NS, 1 Work etc.... ), 13 of us managed to gather at Chong Pang... Definitely i will go down since they changed it from WED to TUE... because of me... Joel found a job, Gu Ming returning to homeland soon and will be back by July... The rest? either waiting for interviews or still looking for jobs...

     It was pretty enjoyable... and i am sure to miss them... *laugh* the usual me? always emotional... Anyway... i was in a light mood till i went home...

     I was very tired but still, i went online... We have to discuss the events for tomorrow... in the end... *sigh* the trip to sentosa was cancelled... something i do look forward to... We had plans on going Sentosa for months le... but never did we went.... Just feeling tired, disappointed and fustrated... but i guess i shouldn't be... and there wasnt a need to be... since in days time... everything will be over temporarily...

     Photos were updated... and now it holds 5 albums...

take picture take picture

     A whole day of activities... i am just too tired le... legs can feel the overworked-ness... haha... 10am i went for a run with Hao & Wen.... then we ate our lunch at Mac... its like... "wah... simply delicious!~" its been months since i last ate Mac... too expensive outside NYP... but too fattening when i am in NYP... normally opt to go to North Canteen...

     After that, i went home and take a shower before heading down to AMK MRT station to meet the gals... and erm.. a guy? haha... Belfred appear, surprisingly, but needed to meet us slightly later due to some things crop up... anyway... Xinyi, JiaHui and i went to East Coast first... and we had out bowling game... Although i used to bowl (not a good one also), i still not able to get good score... maybe too long never play le.. maybe using house ball.. maybe the lane lousy... maybe i am just too lousy... *laugh* The system, environment a little bit like AMK's Strikers' Bowl...

     We ended up in McCafe having Double Chocolate & 4 kinds of cakes... Not too bad... nice taste... strong flavors... Thumbs UP! We were chating while awaiting the arrival of Belfred... Finally, he appeared...

     We ended up not able to see the Sunset... not because of Belfred... but simply because there isn't any for us to see... the sunset was not held there, i guess... *sad* but we did had lots of fun and relaxation... We took photos with 3 cameras... hope at least all will be good... only one is Digicam... in the end... i guess my skill is still the best.... *laugh* i shall not describe the pictures... will upload soon...

     Its great to be there... i have never been out with Bel, JH or XY like this before... its nice experience... just sad that the girls do have curfew... so i guess... too bad...

fashion day

     Giodano, Dano, U.W.N, G2000, U2, P.O.A., SEIYU, Samuel & Kevin... You hear me right... these were the fashion outlets (in J8) i went to today... Have our lunch/dinner at Crystal Jade Restaurant. It was still affordable for some dishes... Eunice ICQ-message me to meet up and to pass me one Vanessa-signatured CD. Liying joined us after her shopping spree with her brother...

     We went window shopping... Try on some clothes... me? i only tried on Samuel & Kevin's 2 top... both not my style but the feeling was not too bad... but never buy as i will not have any more days to wear them... *laugh* And guess what, i managed to see Ivy in Giodano... never thought she was transferred to Bishan... anyway... she offered staff discount to Eunice... She has to thank me for that *smile*

     After the whole shopping journey, we sat down at Olio Dome (behind Bishan Interchange) for a drink and snacks... We chat the whole night... its a long time since we sit and chat...

     Finally, i received the Audio Book from Eunice... Vanessa Fernandez, from the Urban Xchange, sang solo-ly for the album... a total of 8 tracks (excluding two, mix and LIVE, tracks) out of the 16 trackes available.... The rest are either instrumental or sound mixed for the poems... Her vocal was still strong as before... even though she sang jazz-y now rather than her usual pop-hiphop style... I still prefer hiphop though... The songs she covered gives me a kinda Dido's styled feeling...

     its not for sale... the album itself... it was distributed months back, in conjuction of a poetry book... As my friend was involved somewhere, somehow... she managed to get it for me... and asked Vanessa Fernandez, a friend of her as well, to sign for me... Isn't that great?

easing tension

     After months of shunning, today i managed to talk more with Weiliang le... After that incident... i seldom talk to him... so did he... at most one or two sentence job-related stuff he need to tell me or vice versa... but i guess... it all ended today... Of course, its hard for me to treat him the way i used to... but i guess i am already taking a big step out of the shadow of that incident...

     Its my last day of work and his belated birthday lunch... hence we joint-treated Jia Hui, Mei Ling and Xinyi some dishes... not very full, but i think ok le ba... not too bad either...

     I did not open counter today. i was in the Chief Cashier Room doing paper works, counting money and of course, carrying plastic bags etc... Meiling did one or two transactions as she was cleaning the counters and cashier rooms... while me and Weiliang cleared the Plastic bags etc before he helped ML...

     Everyone there wishes me luck etc... when its time for me to leave, i have to... so i guess, i have to learn to let go... i would be back... surely... at least a few days later :x to return my uniform etc...

     As usual... doing nothing online apart from usual email checking, friendster checking... getting bored... Feeling slightly relieved as two person had return me my money le... one was a draggy one.. the other was like "sure..." and my money was back...

How Bad Is Your Temper?

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20)

You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.

House : Brown
Being a sensible person, you prefer to research any situation before taking action. You don't trust anyone's opinion but your own. You handle your money carefully and accumulate it in small, but secure, increments.

Shirt : Blue
Preferring a more casual appearance, you are more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than in a suit. You don't like over dressing for any occasion, although you never look scruffy.

Rose : Red
You are aggressive in business, but tend to take the backseat when it comes to your personal life. You are more comfortable talking about work than relationships.

Car : Black
In your mind, the image your friends have of you is very important. You like to have the latest brands and are prepared to invest a lot of your money in quality and expensive possessions.

Handphone : Grey/Silver
You are very sociable! You are the center of attention and have great stories to tell. But this often prevents from establishing deep relationships.

TeddyBear : Pale Brown (Beige)
You are very considerate. Friendship is the world to you, and you are friends with everyone. Be careful, as sometimes this works against you if you are too trusting.

Colour Personality Test

TYPE C

> Gentle like a lamb. You have a high level of adaptance
> power, easy to get along with people. Very popular in
> social life but seems that no one will talk bad about
> you. You hate to have conflicts with people so you
> always try to adapt to everyone. You treat every
> person differently. To look at the bright side, you
> adapt easily. But to look at the dark side, you lack
> of character, although you are one big nice guy but
> you lack of charm. On the surface, you havr a lot of
> friends but once you have troubles, you lack of
> soulmates to help you around. You must try to express
> yourself more and be more decisive. In this way, you
> can understand yourself more.

::Steamboat Personality Test::

ShengXin's Chalet

     Ms Chee, Meifen, Xueling, Kaiyi, HanWei, Thomas, Diana... All these names are people i almost see them for the first time after last year's chalet or even worst... after many years... Others like Shuyi, Hong Ching, GuoXin, Belinda, Siang, Eunice, Hao, Qiang and of course, the main character of the day... ShengXin... i saw them this year before this BBQ/Chalet...

     Its kind of strange as i attending ShengXin's Bday... i feel that we are not close... but yet still close... don't really understand and can't really describe this feeling... But just glad to see them... Xueling & Thomas change till i can ever remembered... most i can easily recognise... this two i think twice before confirming... haha... but i did enjoy myself ba... Catching up with some of the people... and mixing around with people i not so close with.. but somehow... i ended up with Belinda & GuoXin... 3 of us were the quiet lot for the night... as there isn't much topic...

     Names like Zhenquan & Meiyan was brought up... but unfortunately never get to see both of them... as for the rest... i managed to take photos with Eunice, Siang, Qiang, Hao, Belinda & ShengXin... i think this is the first time i took photo with Belinda & ShengXin.. hope i can get the photo soon?

     As for how i feel now? Feeling better even though not much *hmmm...* le... Aris, Twins, HweeLi did give me some encouragement... and even though we tried hard... i guess me and Hang Ming are too identical... hence ... topics of conversation are still not much... although its not supposed to be an excuse... but i guess... there is nothing else for me to describe...

     Currently working on my website... hoping to come out with one before going NS... So i guess, u guys have to wait before the newest version is out?

The Voice Within

     Searching for my EZ-link card... i alighted the bus slightly later... After i finally get the card, scan it... i realised that my friend still on the bus... but how can it be? i thought he alight first? it must be that my bus is right in front... i looked, and yes it is there, i needed to change bus to get home... After saying goodbye to my friend... i boarded the other bus to get home...

     My bus was just in front of his... Minutes later, just before the cross-junction, a loud BOOM was heard... This was the second time... the first time happened while we were still on the same bus and one vehicle behind us, can't remembered what kind, exploded... This time round... it was the bus i just alighted... YES!!! and MY BUDDY/FRIEND ARE STILL IN IT...

     Scared out of my witts... i immediately looked over the other bus... THANK GOD!!! he was perfectly alright... but that was close... as the front part of the bus was totally gone and he sat one seat away from the cracked of the bus... From then on, i realise how a friend can be so important to me... Especially my close friend... even though we do meet each other.. i had never say out how much he can meant to me... i'm sure i feel the same if my other buddy happens the same way....

     Exploding? BOOM? What am i talking about? NEWS never state any explosion... Don't worry, Singapore is still safe... All this happened in my dream... And this was what i am afraid of... why do it happen in my dream? i mean... i know that Singapore was safe at least from explosion... of all kinds of dreams... my brain choses explosion...

     This was considered the first time ever for me to have this kind of dream... was it there to tell me how this buddy is important to me? Not to give up on him? Or telling me... even if i am disappointed, he is someone i treasure deep within me... The Voice Within now telling me how i felt deep inside...

     Two friends disappoint me recently... as i treat them really good... but in the end... this dream only have one of them appear... does it mean that i am really given up hope on the other? Maybe... after months of disappearing... i somehow had already treated the once-close friend of mine had gone... This one that appear is no longer the one i know... Now still recovering from that weird dream of mine...

tick tock tick...

     Time is ticking away... 5mins... 10 mins... 15mins... slightly bored of waiting ... i decided to message them... In the end, they were at the other place... having their lunch le... A little miscommunication had cause all these... and i do have the feeling of returning home to cool off... Can you imagine i almost fall asleep in the MRT station while waiting? In the end, i took the pencil and started to draw on my Checklist...

     I suddenly realise that its been a long time since i last draw something... suddenly realise... i am not living the life i wanted to live in... but i have to no choice as i had adapt... now i feel like living at others' expenses instead of mine... as in... affected in everyway that other people are living in... i somehow feel not original... but still... drawing and singing are my favorite pastime...

     Anyway... i continue to meet them and i tried to lighten my own mood... i guess not totally succeed... but at least i did a little bit... and as i once said... i no longer expect as much as before... i think i am just disappointed now instead of angry... Get most of the army things ready... left with about 5 items to get... and left with packing it into the bag... maybe i tomorrow try whether the bag was big enough...

     Realising this year... i am at my weakest position ever... Yes, when project are due... i have to be strong and strive for the best results... or else other people will suffer because of me... i need to be strong.. so as to motivates others... but who knows all the stories behind all these so-called success? so what if i get As & B for the two projects-based modules?...

     Riez, done up his own website too... which means... i have a place more to surf and lesser time to brood over things... just hope one day i can really find 'the one'... may not be a girl... but someone, maybe a friend, who can truly understand me... and not hurt me...

FROZEN KING You dont want love to come through to you. You like it the way you are. To be unreachable, no need to show feelings. Hiding everything inside you. You are already used to it. You say yourself that you dont need anyone, that you stand on your own two feet or that you dont have time for these things. But in reality you are scared to get hurt. You feel save where you are by yourself, nobody can hurt you there. You invent your own relationship in your dreams. You just need to know that you COULD get a partner. ~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need?~ brought to you by Quizilla

torchlight?.... check

     Next week, i will be officially moving on with the next phase of my life... Hence, i am now preparing the things i need for next week major revolution... *laugh*

     Liquan, WeiPing, Hang Ming and i went on our 'shopping' from AMK all the way to Army Market... We first met in AMK and did go round and round Fairprice... but pushing a trolley in... ended with a trolley empty out... only bought 4 drinks...

     We did get things we needed in Army Market... but i guess we shouldn't have bought the lighter... My brother say its provided... Other than that, we or should i say I bought little items... preparing a checklist... modify from WeiPing one.. and might pass to my bro to double check... before start get things done...

     Later part of the day saw us at Compass Point... After shopping at Cold Storage... We went to Liquan's house to have Hang Ming's Rootbeer Float... and Breadtalk as dinner... its the first time i went there, as in after exams... slightly different feelings ba... coz no longer presurising le...

     Maybe i am just tired... have a heavy feeling... deep in my heart... kind of not able to lift my mood up... just hope that its not a series of bad mood ba... Oh ya... yesterday i receive two friend's compliments that i am handsome *laugh* now le... hmm... am i? *shrug*

mon night

     after weeks of planning... and months of proposing... 7 of us finally met up... it maybe a night without Ms Aljunied or Mdm Ong... its still a memorable night... i guess we are too tired... but i'm sure we all had fun...

     We had our dinner at Kenny Rogers at Suntec City and after that Karaoke Session in K-Box. Yes... FINALLY... the Karaoke Session... most of us were craving for it and it finally happen... *laugh* Most of us change alot...

     Eunice shed about 10Kg and looks better now... much more prettier i guess... She is now looking more professional... many of us notice the change in her... my view? much more latin... *laugh* Liying cut her hair... looks better... she still look as cheerful as before... Diana is forever our DA JIE lar... haha... but now more professional le... Eunice and Diana are pursuing their Degree soon le... and Liying going for NIE... so happy for them...

     The guys had not much difference from the last time we met... Due to en-listment soon... All of them now have longer hair... Qiang, Siang and Hao all look the same... behave the same *erm..* ... ya behave the same... *laugh* But i guess 2-3 years down the road... we will have changes in us...

     We were almost trapped in Suntec... as we left around 3am... hence the Suntec is basically LOCKED... i thought we were going to have some fun looking for exits... but in the end... we found one very soon... bored... *laugh*