how am i feeling now?

     Primary School's friend found you in friendster.... message you... add you in MSN.... how would you feel? Great... happy... wonderful.... Friends around you not feeling happy... over tests... over virus of pc... how would you feel then? Great? never... sad... So what am i feeling now?

     Many of you might have thought about, why should i let things around me bother me? why will i get affected by my friends' mood? if that's the case, why bother to ask people how they feel and allow them to confide in you? Blame it on my character, blame it on my hormones... maybe too much female hormones had make me weaker and more sensitive.... i feel the way people feel. Sometimes, rage may overcome my sensitive-ness but overall, i am still quite vulnerable. i want to share people's woes and i am used to it.

     i feel strange for not having people talking to me... bottomline is... i am afraid of lonliness... many people around me would know that i can't stop a single minute not doing anything... why? i would have my imagination run wild... and thought about 'what if'... i will then normally demoralised. Like now, i am feeling lost...

     Its kind of good to have your primary school friend remembering you. His picture shows that he has changed. His looks, no longer the same as my memory... sure... who would not have change after 8-9 years? its great to hear from him... knowing that he is doing great etc. i really feel blissful to have my friends safe and sound...

     i am a team player... sure i can have a job done single-handedly... but i need support from my friends... without them, im nothing... that's why i treasure people around me more than i treasure myself. of course, everyone is selfish... me too... but as long as i am safe and sound... i would go all out to help whoever i can... these people of course, must let me, at least, consider as trusted friends, good friends...

     Supposed to be in my WeiPing's house studying now... but due to the fact that he had fallen sick, the whole thing was cancelled. This was the second overnight being cancelled. Yesterday, Aris last minute had something cropped up, hence cancelled the trip to Sembawang. Study wise, i think so-so ba... at least i did some read up... and understand... just that i did not memorised any points yet. Recently seems to have lots to post... *laugh*